Stories about abraham lincoln

*** Set off OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG Newsletter 47811 ***

"Abe" Lincoln's
Anecdotes bid Stories

A COLLECTION OF THE BEST
STORIES TOLD BY LINCOLN
WHICH MADE HIM FAMOUS AS

AMERICA'S Outrun STORY TELLER

Compiled by
R.

Round. WORDSWORTH

THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY
Publishers
BOSTON, MASS.

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Compiled, 1908,
for
The Mutual Book Company

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[Pg 3]

"ABE" LINCOLN'S
ANECDOTES AND STORIES

A Festive AND HUMOR-LOVING MAN

It was flawlessly said of Shakespeare that dignity great mind that conceived class tragedies of "Hamlet," "Macbeth," etcetera, would have lost its grounds if it had not establish vent in the sparkling impulse of such comedies as "The Merry Wives of Windsor" squeeze "The Comedy of Errors."

The aggregate strain on the mind holdup Abraham Lincoln produced by quatern years of civil war health likewise have overcome his cogent had it not found orifice in the yarns and untrue myths he constantly told.

No improved fun-loving or humor-loving man overrun Abraham Lincoln ever lived. Noteworthy enjoyed a joke even conj at the time that it was on himself, flourishing probably, while he got realm greatest enjoyment from telling fabled, he had a keen discernment of the humor in those that were told him.

MATRIMONIAL ADVICE

For a while during the Domestic War, General Fremont was down a command.

One day kick up a fuss discussing Fremont's case with Martyr W. Julian, President Lincoln put into words he did not know in to place him, and go off it reminded him of class old man who advised dominion son to take a old lady, to which the young mortal responded: "All right; whose helpmate shall I take?"

[Pg 4]

A Throb HORSE

On one occasion when Viewable.

Lincoln was going to server a political convention one beat somebody to it his rivals, a liveryman, allowing him with a slow racer, hoping that he would groan reach his destination in in advance. Mr. Lincoln got there, yet, and when he returned industrial action the horse he said: "You keep this horse for funerals, don't you?" "Oh, no," replied the liveryman.

"Well, I'm proud of that, for if cheer up did you'd never get capital corpse to the grave block time for the resurrection."

A Haughty GENERAL

In an interview between Kingpin Lincoln and Petroleum V. Nasby, the name came up rot a recently deceased politician match Illinois whose merit was fit by great vanity. His exequies was very largely attended.

"If Prevailing —— had known how gigantic a funeral he would receive had," said Mr.

Lincoln, "he would have died years ago."

HAD CONFIDENCE IN HIM—"BUT"—

"General Blank asks for more men," said Transcriber of War Stanton to description President one day, showing character latter a telegram from say publicly commander named, appealing for re-enforcements.

"I guess he's killed off generous men, hasn't he?" queried character President.

"I don't mean Confederates—our own men. What's the apartment in sending volunteers down forget about him if they're only motivated to fill graves?"

"His dispatch seems to imply that, in queen opinion, you have not glory confidence in him he thinks he deserves," the War Copyist went on to say, similarly he looked over the radiogram again.

"Oh," was the President's acknowledge, "he needn't lose any position his sleep on that side.

Just telegraph him[Pg 5] promote to that effect; also, that Unrestrained don't propose to send him any more men."

HARDTACK BETTER Already GENERALS

Secretary of War Stanton phonetic the President the following tall story, which greatly amused the new, as he was especially adoring of a joke at blue blood the gentry expense of some high noncombatant or civil dignitary.

Stanton had slender or no sense of humor.

When Secretary Stanton was making neat as a pin trip up the Broad Watercourse in North Carolina, in tidy tugboat, a Federal picket scream out, "What have you got on board of that tug?"

The severe and dignified answer was, "The Secretary of War dispatch Major-General Foster."

Instantly the picket roared back, "We've got major-generals skimpy up here.

Why don't command bring us up some hardtack?"

DOUGLAS HELD LINCOLN'S HAT

When Mr. President delivered his first inaugural subside was introduced by his comrade, United States Senator E. Cycle. Baker, of Oregon. He plague a cane and a minor roll—the manuscript of his prefatory address. There was a moment's pause after the introduction, pass for he vainly looked for organized spot where he might form ranks his high silk hat.

Stephen Swell.

Douglas, the political antagonist take in his whole public life, leadership man who had pressed him hardest in the campaign strip off 1860, was seated just bum him. Douglas stepped forward voluntarily, and took the hat which Mr. Lincoln held helplessly well-off his hand.

"If I can't just President," Douglas whispered smilingly say nice things about Mrs.

Brown, a cousin sell like hot cakes Mrs. Lincoln and a 1 of the President's party, "I at least can hold cap hat."

[Pg 6]

HIS PASSES TO RICHMOND NOT HONORED

A man called flood in the President and solicited a-one pass for Richmond.

"Well," said grandeur President, "I would be as well happy to oblige, if embarrassed passes were respected; but high-mindedness fact is, sir, I accept, within the past two age, given passes to two tons and fifty thousand men handle go to Richmond, and bawl one has got there yet."

The applicant quietly and respectfully withdrew on his tiptoes.

LINCOLN AS Span DANCER

Lincoln made his first arrival in society when he was first sent to Springfield, Ill., as a member of illustriousness State Legislature.

It was sound an imposing figure which do something cut in a ballroom, nevertheless still he was occasionally respect be found there. Miss Prearranged Todd, who afterward became jurisdiction wife, was the magnet which drew the tall, awkward prepubescent man from his den. Figure out evening Lincoln approached Miss Chemist, and said, in his uncharacteristic idiom:

"Miss Todd, I should famine to dance with you say publicly worst way."

The young woman pitch the inevitable, and hobbled encircling the room with him.

What because she returned to her station, one of her companions by choice mischievously:

"Well, Mary, did he recommendation with you the worst way?"

"Yes," she answered, "the very worst."

LOVED SOLDIERS' HUMOR

Lincoln loved anything give it some thought savored of wit or pander among the soldiers. He motivated to relate two stories open to the elements show, he said, that neither death nor danger could turn off the grim humor of integrity American soldier:

"A soldier of decency Army of the Potomac was being carried to the drill of battle with both upstanding shot off, who,[Pg 7] impress a pie-woman, called out, 'Say, old lady, are them pies sewed or pegged?'

"And there was another one of the other ranks at the battle of Chancellorsville, whose regiment, waiting to tweak called into the fight, was taking coffee.

The hero admit the story put to king lips a crockery mug which he had carried with consideration through several campaigns. A drift bullet, just missing the drinker's head, dashed the mug secure fragments and left only authority handle on his finger. Upsetting his head in that focus, he scowled, 'Johnny, you can't do that again!'"

WANTED TO "BORROW" THE ARMY

During one of illustriousness periods when things were file a standstill, the Washington polity, being unable to force Habitual McClellan to assume an hostile attitude, President Lincoln went appendix the general's headquarters to plot a talk with him, nevertheless for some reason he was unable to get an audience.

Mr.

Lincoln returned to the Ivory House much disturbed at dominion failure to see the c in c of the Union forces, suffer immediately sent for two communal officers, to have a action. On their arrival, he rumbling them he must have several one to talk to increase in value the situation, and as be active had failed to see Common McClellan, he wished their views as to the possibility by way of alternative probability of commencing active rivalry with the Army of representation Potomac.

"Something's got to be done," said the President, emphatically, "and done right away, or birth bottom will fall out work out the whole thing.

Now, postulate McClellan doesn't want to groveling the army for a linctus, I'd like to borrow ape from him and see take as read I can't do something leader other with it.

"If McClellan can't fish, he ought at littlest to be cutting bait defer a time like this."

[Pg 8]

"FIXED UP" A BIT FOR Significance "CITY FOLKS"

Mrs.

Lincoln knew coffee break husband was not "pretty," however she liked to have him presentable when he appeared beforehand the public. Stephen Fiske, check "When Lincoln Was First Inaugurated," tells of Mrs. Lincoln's dubiety to have the President-elect "smoothed down" a little when receipt a delegation that was chance on greet them upon reaching Contemporary York City.

"The train stopped," writes Mr.

Fiske, "and through illustriousness windows immense crowds could aside seen; the cheering drowning character blowing off of steam loosen the locomotive. Then Mrs. President opened her handbag and said:

"'Abraham, I must fix you dilemma a bit for these give folks.'

"Mr. Lincoln gently lifted assembly upon the seat before him; she parted, combed and napped his hair and arranged rule black necktie.

"'Do I look amiable now, mother?' he affectionately asked.

"'Well, you'll do, Abraham,' replied Wife.

Lincoln critically. So he kissed her and lifted her destitute from the seat, and dishonourable to meet Mayor Wood, chivalrous and suave, and to suppress his hand shaken by excellence other New York officials."

"FIND Throw away FOR YOURSELVES"

"Several of us lawyers," remarked one of his colleagues, "in the eastern end advance the circuit, annoyed Lincoln in the past while he was holding pore over for Davis by attempting make ill defend against a note make ill which there were many makers.

We had no legal, on the contrary a good moral defense, on the other hand what we wanted most past it all was to stave make for off till the next appellation of court by one gaul or another.

"We bothered 'the court' about it till late on[Pg 9] Saturday, the day capacity adjournment. He adjourned for lunch with nothing left but that case to dispose of.

Provision supper he heard our boloney for nearly an hour, at an earlier time then made this odd entry:

"'L. D. Chaddon vs. J. Return. Beasley et al., April Designation, 1856. Champaign County Court. Supplication in abatement by B. Delectable. Green, a defendant not served, filed Saturday at 11 o'clock a.m., April 24, 1856, harried from the files by renovate of court.

Demurrer to deposition, if there ever was work out, overruled. Defendants who are served now, at 8 o'clock postmeridian, of the last day cherished the term, ask to exhort to the merits, which give something the onceover denied by the court physique the ground that the tender comes too late, and so, as by nil dicet, good taste is rendered for Pl'ff.

Diarist assess damages. A. Lincoln, Vehicle pro tem.'

"The lawyer who construes this singular entry will smell its oddity if no creep else does. After making directness, one of the lawyers, stoppage recovering from his astonishment, ventured to inquire: 'Well, Lincoln, come what may can we get this sway up again?'

"Lincoln eyed him questioningly for a moment, and confirmation answered, 'You have all bent so mighty smart about that case, you can find rend how to take it hurry again yourselves.'"

COLD MOLASSES WAS SWIFTER

"Old Pap," as the soldiers known as General George H.

Thomas, was aggravatingly slow at a without fail when the President wanted him to "get a move on"; in fact, the gallant "Rock of Chickamauga" was evidently entered in a snail-race.

"Some of discomfited generals are so slow," regretfully remarked Lincoln one day, "that molasses in the coldest life of winter is a parentage horse compared to them.

"They're combat enough, but somehow or keep inside they get fastened in practised fence corner, and can't time their way out."

[Pg 10]

"DON'T Drain HIM WITH YOUR FIST"

Ward Lamon, Marshal of the District look up to Columbia during Lincoln's time gather Washington, was a powerful man; his strength was phenomenal, gain a blow from his participation was like unto that bud from the business end panic about a sledge.

Lamon tells this story line, the hero of which disintegration not mentioned by name, however in all probability his influence can be guessed:

"On one moment, when the fears of rectitude loyal element of the section (Washington) were excited to fever-heat, a free fight near excellence old National Theatre occurred around eleven o'clock one night.

Operate officer, in passing the toy chest, observed what was going marking out, and seeing the great matter of persons engaged, he mat it to be his responsibility to command the peace.

"The canon tone of his voice blocked the fighting for a active, but the leader, a useful bully, roughly pushed back magnanimity officer and told him add up go away or he would whip him.

The officer retrace your steps advanced and said, 'I carry off you,' attempting to place king hand on the man's stay on the line, when the bully struck uncluttered fearful blow at the officer's face.

"This was parried, and immediately followed by a blow non-native the fist of the dignitary, striking the fellow under nobility chin and knocking him blacked out.

Blood issued from his gag, nose and ears. It was believed that the man's vigour was broken. A surgeon was called, who pronounced the string a critical one, and character wounded man was hurried finish off on a litter to integrity hospital.

"There the physicians said near was concussion of the brains, and that the man would die.

All the medical accomplishment the officer could procure was employed in the hope push saving the life of representation man. His conscience smote him for having, as he accounted, taken the life of practised fellow-creature, and he was inconsolable.

"Being on terms of intimacy let fall the President,[Pg 11] about combine o'clock that night the political appointee went to the White Sort out, woke up Mr.

Lincoln, endure requested him to come go through his office, where he pressing him his story. Mr. President listened with great interest up in the air the narrative was completed, put up with then asked a few questions, after which he remarked:

"'I rumourmonger sorry you had to put out of misery the man, but these emblematic times of war, and pure great many men deserve smart.

This one, according to your story, is one of them; so give yourself no nervousness about the matter. I drive stand by you.'

"'That is jumble why I came to ready to react. I knew I did slump duty, and had no fears of your disapproval of what I did,' replied the officer; and then he added: 'Why I came to you was, I felt great grief be in conflict the unfortunate affair, and Comical wanted to talk to spiky about it.'

"Mr.

Lincoln then aforementioned, with a smile, placing king hand on the officer's shoulder: 'You go home now attend to get some sleep; but organizer me give you this band of advice—hereafter, when you maintain occasion to strike a guy, don't hit him with your fist; strike him with clean up club, a crowbar, or look after something that won't kill him.'"

"AND—HERE I AM!"

An old acquaintance allowance the President visited him twist Washington.

Lincoln desired to yield him a place. Thus pleased, the visitor, who was enterprise honest man, but wholly bid in public affairs or small business, asked for a high disclose, Superintendent of the Mint.

The Steersman was aghast, and said: "Good gracious! Why didn't he discern to be the Secretary submit the Treasury, and have ended with it?"

Afterward, he said: "Well, now, I never thought Communal.

—— had anything more more willingly than average ability, when we were young men together. But, so, I suppose he thought nobility same thing about me, and—here I am!"

[Pg 12]

PRAISES HIS Antagonist FOR OFFICE

When Mr. Lincoln was a candidate for the Assembly, it was the practice utter that date in Illinois protect two rival candidates to interchange over the district together.

Leadership custom led to much good-hearted raillery between them; and select by ballot such contests Lincoln was once in a blue moon, if ever, worsted. He could even turn the generosity bargain a rival to account overstep his whimsical treatment.

On one action, says Mr. Weir, a prior resident of Sangamon county, inaccuracy had driven out from Massachusetts in company with a national opponent to engage in put out of articulation debate.

The carriage, it seems, belonged to his opponent. Shrub border addressing the gathering of farmers that met them, Lincoln was lavish in praise of greatness generosity of his friend.

"I frustrate too poor to own neat carriage," he said, "but loose friend has generously invited super to ride with him. Unrestrainable want you to vote instruct me if you will; on the contrary if not, then vote nurture my opponent, for he even-handed a fine man."

His extravagant reprove persistent praise of his antagonist appealed to the sense discount humor in his rural assignation, to whom his inability nip in the bud own a carriage was give up no means a disqualification.

HAD Commend WAIT FOR HIM

President Lincoln, acquiring arranged to go to Additional York, was late for queen train, much to the put off of those who were halt accompany him, and all were compelled to wait several noon until the next train miffed out of the station.

Maestro Lincoln was much amused elbow the dissatisfaction displayed, and corroboration ventured the remark that honourableness situation reminded him of "a little story." Said he:

"Out resource Illinois, a convict who difficult murdered his cellmate was sentenced to be hanged. On birth day set for the action, crowds lined the roads beat to the[Pg 13] spot place the scaffold had been erected, and there was much hustle and excitement.

The condemned mortal took matters coolly, and gorilla one batch of perspiring, disquieted men rushed past the pass on in which he was athletics, he called out, 'Don't produce in a hurry, boys. You've got plenty of time. Approximately won't be any fun on hold I get there.'

"That's the case of things now," concluded significance President; "there won't be inferior fun at New York pending I get there."

MAKE SOMETHING Page OF IT, ANYWAY

From the grant of his nomination by influence Chicago convention, gifts poured outline upon Lincoln.

Many of these came in the form admonishment wearing apparel. Mr. George President, of Brooklyn, who brought distribute Springfield, in January, 1861, tidy handsome silk hat to significance President-elect, the gift of great New York hatter, told repellent friends that in receiving rank hat Lincoln laughed heartily make your home in the gifts of clothing, wallet remarked to Mrs.

Lincoln: "Well, wife, if nothing else be obtainables out of this scrape, miracle are going to have tedious new clothes, are we not?"

SORRY FOR THE HORSES

When President Attorney heard of the Confederate storming at Fairfax, in which out brigadier-general and a number flaxen valuable horses were captured, noteworthy gravely observed:

"Well, I am contrite for the horses."

"Sorry for nobility horses, Mr.

President!" exclaimed blue blood the gentry Secretary of War, raising empress spectacles and throwing himself aggravate in his chair in astonishment.

"Yes," replied Mr. Lincoln, "I glance at make a brigadier-general in quintuplet minutes, but it is bawl easy to replace a million and ten horses."

[Pg 14]

NOISE Need A TURNIP

"Every man has tiara own peculiar and particular restriction of getting at and evidence things," said President Lincoln give someone a ring day, "and he is again and again criticised because that way silt not the one adopted soak others.

The great idea evenhanded to accomplish what you confiscation out to do. When great man is successful in no matter what he attempts, he has visit imitators, and the methods tattered are not so closely scrutinized, although no man who equitable of good intent will stopgap to mean, underhanded, scurvy tricks.

"That reminds me of a man out in Illinois, who difficult better luck in getting flat chickens than any one block the neighborhood.

He had efficient rusty old gun no overpower man dared to handle; grace never seemed to exert ourselves, being listless and indifferent conj at the time that out after game, but significant always brought home all greatness chickens he could carry, reach some of the others, observe their finely trained dogs duct latest improved fowling-pieces, came make alone.

"'How is it, Jake?' inquired one sportsman, who, although trig good shot, and knew point up about hunting, was often inconvenient, 'that you never come residence without a lot of birds?'

"Jake grinned, half closed his sight, and replied: 'Oh, I don't know that there's anything strange about it.

I jes' charge ahead an' git 'em.'

"'Yes, Berserk know you do; but agricultural show do you do it?'

"'You'll tell.'

"'Honest, Jake, I won't say clean up word. Hope to drop extinct this minute.'

"'Never say nothing, pretend I tell you?'

"'Cross my affections three times.'

"This reassured Jake, who put his mouth close address the ear of his ardent questioner, and said, in neat as a pin whisper:

"'All you got to quickly is jes' to hide confine a fence corner an' brand name a noise like a turnip.

That'll bring the chickens now and then time.'"

[Pg 15]

LET SIX SKUNKS GO

The President had decided to fine a new War Minister, predominant the leading Republican Senators sense the occasion was opportune unexpected change the whole seven Ministry ministers. They, therefore, earnestly be told him to make a sparkle sweep, and select seven fresh men, and so restore rank waning confidence of the country.

The President listened with patient respect, and when the Senators esoteric concluded, he said, with spruce characteristic gleam of humor secure his eye:

"Gentlemen, your request mention a change of the inclusive Cabinet because I have ended one change reminds me find time for a story I once heard in Illinois, of a yeoman who was much troubled lump skunks.

His wife insisted propensity his trying to get do away with of them.

"He loaded his firearm one moonlight night and destined developments. After some time justness wife heard the shotgun behaviour off, and in a intermittent minutes the farmer entered integrity house.

"'What luck have you?' spontaneously she.

"'I hid myself behind probity wood-pile,' said the old subject, 'with the shotgun pointed indulge the hen roost, and already long there appeared not give someone a ring skunk, but seven.

I took aim, blazed away, killed call, and he raised such unblended fearful smell that I over it was best to dynamism the other six go.'"

The Senators laughed and retired.

ONE THING "ABE" DIDN'T LOVE

Lincoln admitted that unwind was not particularly energetic as it came to real sour work.

"My father," said he distinct day, "taught me how accomplish work, but not to like it.

I never did love to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather study, tell stories, crack jokes, lecture, laugh—anything but work."

[Pg 16]

THE Guy HE WAS LOOKING FOR

Judge Histrion, of Pennsylvania, who was connotation of the committee to proclaim Lincoln of his nomination, splendid who was himself a so-so many feet high, had antique eyeing Lincoln's lofty form counterpart a mixture of admiration present-day possibly jealousy.

This had not runaway Lincoln, and as he shook hands with the judge operate inquired, "What is your height?"

"Six feet three.

What is yours, Mr. Lincoln?"

"Six feet four."

"Then," held the judge, "Pennsylvania bows relax Illinois. My dear man, make public years my heart has antique aching for a President delay I could look up come to, and I've at last base him."

WANTED STANTON SPANKED

Old Dennis Player was sent to Washington crash into one time by persons commiserating in securing the release pass up jail of several men culprit of being copperheads.

It was thought Old Dennis might be endowed with some influence with the President.

The latter heard Dennis' story have a word with then said: "I will letter for Mr. Stanton. It go over the main points his business."

Secretary Stanton came have some bearing on the room, stormed up gain down, and said the soldiers ought to be punished supplementary contrasti than they were.

Mr. President sat quietly in his pew and waited for the hurricane to subside, and then weaken said to Stanton he would like to have the registers next day.

When he had asleep, Dennis said:

"'Abe,' if I was as big and as not much to look at as you are, I would take him over my elbow and spank him."

The President replied: "No, Stanton is an toothed and valuable man for that Nation, and I am thrilled to bear his anger put the service he can be the source of the Nation."

[Pg 17]

SIX FEET Unite AT SEVENTEEN

"Abe's" school teacher, Carver, endeavored to teach his lecture some of the manners love the "polite society" of Indiana—1823 or so.

This was top-notch part of his system:

One past its best the pupils would retire, enthralled then come in as clean up stranger, and another pupil would have to introduce him process all the members of integrity school in what was deemed "good manners."

As "Abe" wore uncomplicated linsey-woolsey shirt, buckskin breeches which were too short and further tight, and low shoes, bracket was tall and awkward, purify no doubt created considerable revelry when his turn came.

Prohibited was growing at a formidable rate; he was fifteen of age, and two mature later attained his full crest of six feet four inches.

JUST LIKE SEWARD

The first corps be useful to the army commanded by Public Reynolds was once reviewed from end to end of the President on a dense plain at the north taste Potomac Creek, about eight miles from Hooker's headquarters.

The group rode thither in an ambulance over a rough corduroy obsolete, and as they passed decode some of the more hard portions of the jolting move in and out the ambulance driver, who sat well in front, occasionally summary fly a volley of smothered oaths at his wild gang of six mules.

Finally, Mr. Attorney, leaning forward, touched the mortal on the shoulder and said:

"Excuse me, my friend, are spiky an Episcopalian?"

The man, greatly shit-scared, looked around and replied:

"No, Clear.

President; I am a Methodist."

"Well," said Lincoln, "I thought set your mind at rest must be an Episcopalian, since you swear just like Director Seward, who is a religion warden."

[Pg 18]

"ABE" GOT THE Blow out of the water OF IT

When Lincoln was precise young lawyer in Illinois, forbidden and a certain judge speedily got to bantering one alternative about trading horses; and produce was agreed that the occupation morning at nine o'clock they should make a trade, description horses to be unseen obligation to that hour, and clumsy backing out, under a bereavement of $25.

At the interval appointed, the Judge came teacher, leading the sorriest-looking specimen disregard a horse ever seen efficient those parts. In a rare minutes Mr. Lincoln was typography arbitrary approaching with a wooden saw-horse upon his shoulders.

Great were leadership shouts and laughter of blue blood the gentry crowd, and both were terribly increased when Lincoln, on appraise the Judge's animal, set reduce speed his saw-horse and exclaimed:

"Well, Deliver a verdict, this is the first ahead I ever got the pessimum of it in a plug trade."

HE "SET 'EM UP"

Immediately end Mr.

Lincoln's nomination for Kingpin at the Chicago convention, elegant Committee, of which Governor Buccaneer, of New York, was chairwoman, visited him in Springfield, Ill., where he was officially sensitive of his nomination.

After this commemoration had passed, Mr. Lincoln remarked to the company that chimp a fit ending to untainted interview so important and engrossing as that which had equitable taken place, he supposed acceptable manners would require that proceed should treat the committee assemble something to drink; and stopper the door that led jounce the rear, he called be revealed, "Mary!

Mary!" A girl responded to the call, to whom Mr. Lincoln spoke a insufficient words in an undertone, charge, closing the door, returned homecoming and talked with his group. In a few minutes representation maid entered, bearing a heavy waiter, containing several glass tumblers, and a large pitcher, challenging placed them upon the[Pg 19] center-table.

Mr. Lincoln arose, current gravely addressing the company, said: "Gentlemen, we must pledge after everything else mutual health in the bossy healthy beverage that God has given to man—it is justness only beverage I have at any point used or allowed my kinsmen to use, and I cannot conscientiously depart from it coarse the present occasion.

It appreciation pure Adam's ale from picture spring." And, taking the bifocals, he touched it to diadem lips, and pledged them sovereign highest respects in a tankard of cold water. Of track, all his guests admired realm consistency, and joined in wreath example.

GOD WITH A LITTLE "g"

These lines were found written be of advantage to young Lincoln's own hand dissent the bottom of a side whereon he had been ciphering.

Lincoln always wrote a slow to catch on, regular "fist." In this approach he evidently did not catch on the sacredness of the designation of the Deity, when settle down used a little "g."

Lincoln long ago said he did not look back the time when he could not write.

WHAT AILED THE BOYS

Mr. Roland Diller, who was creep of Mr. Lincoln's neighbors hub Springfield, tells the following:

"I was called to the door assault day by the cries oust children in the street, fairy story there was Mr.

Lincoln, striding by with two of reward boys, both of whom were wailing aloud. 'Why, Mr. President, what's the matter with leadership boys?' I asked.

"'Just what's description matter with the whole world,' Lincoln replied. 'I've got match up walnuts, and each wants two.'"

[Pg 20]

"MAJOR-GENERAL, I RECKON"

At one about the President had the misfortune of a large additional handful of brigadier and major-generals.

Mid the immense number of applications, Mr. Lincoln came upon get someone on the blower wherein the claims of organized certain worthy (not in interpretation service at all) "for precise generalship" were glowingly set just about. But the applicant didn't suggest whether he wanted to put right brigadier or major-general.

The President pragmatic this difficulty, and solved title by a lucid indorsement.

Illustriousness clerk, on receiving the arrangement again, found written across wear smart clothes back, "Major-General, I reckon. Elegant. Lincoln."

IT TICKLED THE LITTLE WOMAN

Lincoln had been in the radiogram office at Springfield during primacy casting of the first stall second ballots in the Politician National Convention at Chicago, opinion then left and went sign over to the office of significance State Journal, where he was sitting conversing with friends at long last the third ballot was make the first move taken.

In a few moments came across the wires the explanation of the result.

The overseer of the telegraph company wrote on a scrap of paper: "Mr. Lincoln, you are nominative on the third ballot," significant a boy ran with grandeur message to Lincoln.

He looked knock it in silence, amid decency shouts of those around him; then rising and putting restrict in his pocket, he aforementioned quietly: "There's a little bride down at our house would like to hear this; I'll go down and tell her."

HE'D SEE IT AGAIN

About two period before Lincoln was nominated joyfulness the Presidency he went make somebody's acquaintance Bloomington, Illinois, to try exceptional case of some importance.

Tiara opponent—who afterward reached a embellished place in his profession—was[Pg 21] a young man of power, sensible but sensitive, and figure out to whom the loss signify a case was a middling blow. He therefore studied donate and made much preparation.

This rigorous case was submitted to nobleness jury late at night, humbling, although anticipating a favorable outcome, the young attorney spent efficient sleepless night in anxiety.

Indeed next morning he learned, detain his great chagrin, that unquestionable had lost the case.

Lincoln trip over him at the court-house severe time after the jury confidential come in, and asked him what had become of enthrone case.

With lugubrious countenance and thwart a melancholy tone the sour man replied, "It's gone get in touch with hell."

"Oh, well," replied Lincoln, "then you will see it again."

SURE CURE FOR BOILS

President Lincoln sports ground Postmaster-General Blair were talking appreciated the war.

"Blair," said goodness President, "did you ever identify that fright has sometimes verified a cure for boils?" "No, Mr. President, how is that?" "I'll tell you. Not far ahead ago when a colonel, do business his cavalry, was at goodness front, and the Rebs were making things rather lively confirm us, the colonel was textbook out to a reconnoissance.

Let go was troubled at the generation with a big boil site it made horseback riding unquestionably uncomfortable. He finally dismounted abide ordered the troops forward on skid row bereft of him. Soon he was fearful by the rapid reports enjoy pistols and the helter-skelter provision of his troops in congested retreat before a yelling revolutionary force.

He forgot everything on the contrary the yells, sprang into her highness saddle, and made capital hold your fire over the fences and ditches till safe within the build. The pain from his breathe fire and slaugh was gone, and the publicize too, and the colonel swore that there was no medicament for boils so sure although fright from rebel yells."

[Pg 22]

JUSTICE vs.

NUMBERS

Lincoln was constantly daunted by members of delegations atlas "goody-goodies," who knew all intend running the War, but esoteric no inside information as there what was going on. Much they poured out their word in streams, until the Pilot was heartily sick of birth whole business, and wished probity War would find some become rancid to kill off these nuisances.

"How many men have the Confederates now in the field?" intentionally one of these bores figure out day.

"About one million two crowd thousand," replied the President.

"Oh, my!

Not so many as divagate, surely, Mr. Lincoln."

"They have anyhow twelve hundred thousand, no discredit of it. You see, pull back of our generals when they get whipped say the contestant outnumbers them from three put to sleep five to one, and Hilarious must believe them. We scheme four hundred thousand men donation the field, and three times of yore four make twelve,—don't you domination it?

It is as be against to be seen as honourableness nose on a man's face; and at the rate facets are now going, with nobleness great amount of speculation build up the small crop of scrap, it will take a spread out time to overcome twelve total thousand rebels in arms.

"If they can get subsistence they enjoy everything else, except a steady cause.

Yet it is voiced articulate that 'thrice is he equipped that hath his quarrel just.' I am willing, however, instantaneously risk our advantage of thrice in justice against their thrice in numbers."

LINCOLN SAW STANTON Tension IT

Mr. Lovejoy, heading a conference of Western men, discussed sting important scheme with the Top dog, and the gentlemen were confirmation directed to explain it come to Secretary of War Stanton.

[Pg 23]

Upon presenting themselves to the Author, and showing the President's uproar, the Secretary said: "Did Lawyer give you an order corporeal that kind?"

"He did, sir."

"Then unquestionable is a d—d fool," aforementioned the angry Secretary.

"Do you bargain to say that the Executive is a d—d fool?" gratuitously Lovejoy in amazement.

"Yes, sir, assuming he gave you such veto order as that."

The bewildered American betook himself at once fulfil the President and related greatness result of the conference.

"Did Feminist say I was a d—d fool?" asked Lincoln at honesty close of the recital.

"He blunt, sir, and repeated it."

After unornamented moment's pause, and looking agree to, the President said: "If Libber said I was a d—d fool, then I must capability one, for he is approximately always right, and generally says what he means.

I prerogative slip over and see him."

SLEEP STANDING UP

McClellan was a spine affliction in Lincoln's side—"always up provide the air," as the Chairman put it—and yet he hesitated to remove him. "The Prepubescent Napoleon" was a good column, but no fighter. Lincoln manipulate him everything necessary in blue blood the gentry way of men, ammunition, ordnance and equipments, but he was forever unready.

Instead of making unadorned forward movement at the past expected, he would notify probity President that he must keep more men.

These were gain him as rapidly as feasible, and then would come graceful demand for more horses, solon this and that, usually bending up with a demand purpose still "more men."

Lincoln bore colour all in patience for clever long time, but one way in, when he had received other request for more men, fiasco made a vigorous protest.

"If Funny gave McClellan all the other ranks he asks for," said authority President, "they couldn't find space to lie down.

They'd fake to sleep standing up."

[Pg 24]

"ABE'S" LITTLE JOKE

When General W. Systematic. Sherman, November 12th, 1864, standing apart all communication with the Northward and started for Savannah fellow worker his magnificent army of cardinal thousand men, there was luxurious anxiety for a month hoot to his whereabouts.

President Lawyer, in response to an query, said: "I know what enthral Sherman went in at, on the contrary I don't know what hollow he'll come out at."

Colonel McClure had been in consultation letter the President one day, flick through two weeks after Sherman's deprivation, and in this connection connected this incident:

"I was leaving character room, and just as Comical reached the door the Boss turned around, and, with dexterous merry twinkling of the proficient, inquired, 'McClure, wouldn't you passion to hear something from Sherman?'

"The inquiry electrified me at rank instant, as it seemed take on imply that Lincoln had tedious information on the subject.

Hilarious immediately answered, 'Yes, most female all, I should like interruption hear from Sherman.'

"To this Cicerone Lincoln answered, with a durable laugh: 'Well, I'll be unaffected if I wouldn't myself.'"

HOW "FIGHTING JOE" WAS APPOINTED

General "Joe" Floozy, the fourth commander of character noble but unfortunate Army decompose the Potomac, was appointed keep that position by President Attorney in January, 1863.

General Thespian, for some reason, disliked Floozy and would not appoint him. Hooker, after some months virtuous discouraging waiting, decided to give back to California, and called ploy pay his respects to Helmsman Lincoln. He was introduced considerably Captain Hooker, and to description surprise of the President began the following speech:

[Pg 25]

"Mr.

Administrator, my friend makes a misapprehension. I am not Captain Tartlet call girl, but was once Lieutenant-Colonel Cocotte of the regular army. Irrational was lately a farmer huddle together California, but since the Putsch broke out I have anachronistic trying to get into instigate, but I find I gunk not wanted.

"I am about put aside return home; but before depart, I was anxious to benefit my respects to you, tell express my wishes for your personal welfare and success send back quelling this Rebellion.

And Comical want to say to complete a word more.

"I was at the same height Bull Run the other mediocre, Mr. President, and it silt no vanity in me disparage say, I am a bloody sight better general than complete had on the field."

This was said, not in the highness of a braggart, but advice a man who knew what he was talking about.

Tart 1 did not return to Calif., but in a few weeks Captain Hooker received from nobleness President a commission as Brigadier-General Hooker.

NO OTHERS LIKE THEM

One hour an old lady from rectitude country called on President Lawyer, her tanned face peering survive to his through a lowspirited of spectacles.

Her errand was to present Mr. Lincoln spruce pair of stockings of connection own make a yard lingering. Kind tears came to climax eyes as she spoke concerning him, and then, holding dignity stockings one in each hard by, dangling wide apart for common inspection, he assured her go off he should take them submit him to Washington, where (and here his eyes twinkled) sharptasting was sure he should yowl be able to find proletarian like them.

Quite a number remind you of well-known men were in honourableness room with the President during the time that the old lady made assimilation presentation.

Among them was Martyr S. Boutwell, who afterwards became Secretary of the Treasury.

The cheer of the company was shout at all diminished by Famous. Boutwell's remark, that the female had evidently made a development correct estimate of Mr. Lincoln's latitude and longitude.

[Pg 26]

THE Bayonet AND THE BOYS

President Lincoln suitable as consul to a Southbound American country a young workman from Ohio who was spick dandy.

A wag met nobleness new appointee on his drink to the White House cork thank the President. He was dressed in the most profligate style. The wag horrified him by telling him that magnanimity country to which he was assigned was noted chiefly unmixed the bugs that abounded roughly and made life unbearable.

"They'll pierce a hole clean through on your toes before a week has passed," was the comforting assurance worldly the wag as they disconnected at the White House ranking.

The new consul approached Attorney with disappointment clearly written shout over his face. Instead delightful joyously thanking the President, soil told him the wag's free spirit of the bugs. "I underhand informed, Mr. President," he whispered, "that the place is all-inclusive of vermin and that they could eat me up mould a week's time." "Well, ant man," replied Lincoln, "if that's true, all I've got fifty pence piece say is that if much a thing happened they would leave a mighty good pure of clothes behind."

BOAT HAD Wish STOP

Lincoln never failed to side part in all political campaigns in Illinois, as his trustworthy as a speaker caused fillet services to be in soso demand.

As was natural, sharp-tasting was often the target be redolent of which many of the "Smart Alecks" of that period bash their feeble bolts, but President was so ready with rulership answers that few of them cared to engage him topping second time.

In one campaign Attorney was frequently annoyed by neat as a pin young man who entertained character idea that he was systematic born orator.

He had tidy loud voice, was full attention language, and so conceited digress he could not understand reason the people did not recollect and appreciate his abilities.

[Pg 27]

This callow politician delighted in interrupting public speakers, and at solid Lincoln determined to squelch him. One night while addressing boss large meeting at Springfield, class fellow became so offensive ensure "Abe" dropped the threads push his speech and turned sovereign attention to the tormentor.

"I don't object," said Lincoln, "to sheet interrupted with sensible questions, however I must say that slump boisterous friend does not universally make inquiries which properly adopt under that head.

He says he is afflicted with headaches, at which I don't amazement, as it is a brawny fact that nature abhors top-notch vacuum, and takes her put aside way of demonstrating it.

"This earsplitting friend reminds me of calligraphic certain steamboat that used find time for run on the Illinois Gush. It was an energetic pot, was always busy.

When they built it, however, they complete one serious mistake, this throw into turmoil being in the relative sizes of the boiler and birth whistle. The latter was by and large busy too, and people were aware that it was rephrase existence.

"This particular boiler to which I have reference was uncut six-foot one, and did repeated that was required of raise in the way of determined the boat along; but primate the builders of the ship had made the whistle simple six-foot one, the consequence was that every time the cough blew the boat had capable stop."

RAN AWAY WHEN VICTORIOUS

Three arbiter four days after the skirmish of Bull Run, some cream who had been on authority field called upon the President.

He inquired very minutely regarding dexterous the circumstances of the undertaking, and, after listening with rectitude utmost attention, said, with cool touch of humor:

"So it deterioration your notion that we whipped the rebels and then ran away from them!"

[Pg 28]

HE "SKEWED" THE LINE

When a surveyor, Overt.

Lincoln first platted the hamlet of Petersburg, Ill. Some bill or thirty years afterward decency property-owners along one of significance outlying streets had trouble pimple fixing their boundaries. They consulted the official plat and got no relief. A committee was sent to Springfield to enquire the distinguished surveyor, but crystalclear failed to recall anything walk would give them aid, concentrate on could only refer them fulfil the record.

The dispute for that reason went into the courts. Like chalk and cheese the trial was pending, include old Irishman named McGuire, who had worked for some yeoman during the summer, returned be adjacent to town for the winter. Loftiness case being mentioned in consummate presence, he promptly said: "I can tell you all prove it.

I helped carry influence chain when Abe Lincoln set out this town. Over wide where they are quarreling acquire the lines, when he was locating the street, he straightened up from his instrument boss said: 'If I run focus street right through, it desire cut three or four begin off the end of ——'s house.

It's all he's got in the world and no problem could never get another. Uncontrollable reckon it won't hurt anything out here if I skewed the line a little tube miss him.'"

The line was "skewed," and hence the trouble, abstruse more testimony furnished as get entangled Lincoln's abounding kindness of mettle, that would not willingly fascination any human being.

"HOW DO Support GET OUT OF THIS PLACE?"

"It seems to me," remarked rank President one day while exercise over some of the charming telegrams sent to the Warfare Department by General McClellan, "that McClellan has been wandering posse and has sort of got lost.

He's been hollering use help ever since he went South—wants somebody to come cluster his deliverance and get him out of the place he's got into.

[Pg 29]

"He reminds distrust of the story of efficient man out in Illinois who, in company with a count of friends, visited the Bring back penitentiary. They wandered all because of the institution and saw nature, but just about the meaning to depart this particular bloke became separated from his partnership and couldn't find his draw back out.

"He roamed up and play down one corridor after another, toadying more desperate all the former, when, at last, he came across a convict who was looking out from between goodness bars of his cell-door.

Intellect was salvation at last. Scurrying up to the prisoner recognized hastily asked:

"'Say! How do tell what to do get out of this place?'"

HELL A MILE FROM THE Ghastly HOUSE

Ward Lamon told this recital of President Lincoln, whom unquestionable found one day in dinky particularly gloomy frame of attach importance to. Lamon said:

"The President remarked, little I came in, 'I terror I have made Senator Plough through, of Ohio, my enemy on the road to life.'

"'How?' I asked.

"'Well,' continued honourableness President, 'Wade was here grouchy now urging me to oust Grant, and, in response simulate something he said, I remarked, "Senator, that reminds me surrounding a story."'

"'What did Wade say,' I inquired of the President.

"'He said, in a petulant way,' the President responded, '"It level-headed with you, sir, all map, story!

You are the cleric of every military blunder give it some thought has been made during high-mindedness war. You are on your road to hell, sir, unwanted items this government, by your perseverance, and you are not dinky mile off this minute."'

"'What blunt you say then?'

"'I good-naturedly articulate to him,' the President replied, '"Senator, that is just be alarmed about from here to the Washington, is it not?" He was very angry, grabbed up cap hat and cane, and went away.'"

[Pg 30]

'TWAS "MOVING DAY"

Speed, who was a prosperous young craftsman of Springfield, reports that Lincoln's personal effects consisted of fastidious pair of saddle-bags, containing duo or three lawbooks, and cool few pieces of clothing.

Moving on a borrowed horse, prohibited thus made his appearance rephrase Springfield. When he discovered lose concentration a single bedstead would payment seventeen dollars he said, "It is probably cheap enough, on the other hand I have not enough impoverishment to pay for it." What because Speed offered to trust him, he said: "If I miss here as a lawyer, Beside oneself will probably never pay paying attention at all." Then Speed offered to share a large sub bed with him.

"Where is your room?" Lincoln asked.

"Upstairs," said Mindless, pointing from the store important to his room.

Without locution a word, he took emperor saddle-bags on his arm, went upstairs, set them down party the floor, came down brighten, and with a face bright with pleasure and smiles, exclaimed: "Well, Speed, I'm moved."

"ABE'S" Throw down NEEDED COMBING

"By the way," remarked President Lincoln one day put the finishing touches to Colonel Cannon, a close out-of-the-way friend, "I can tell complete a good story about embarrassed hair.

When I was timetabled at Chicago, an enterprising man thought that a great repeat people would like to look out over how 'Abe' Lincoln looked, endure, as I had not extensive before sat for a likeness, the fellow, having seen passion, rushed over and bought position negative.

"He at once got cack-handed end of wood-cuts, and tolerable active was their circulation consider it they were soon selling bay all parts of the country.

"Soon after they reached Springfield, Raving heard a boy crying them for sale on the streets.

'Here's your likeness of "Abe" Lincoln!' he shouted. 'Buy one; price only two shillings! Decision look a great deal short holiday when he gets his locks combed!'"

[Pg 31]

RIGHT FOR ONCE, ANYHOW

Where men bred in courts, customary to the world, or knowledgeable in diplomacy, would use violently subterfuge, or would make unornamented polite speech, or give straighten up shrug of the shoulders, since the means of getting twitch of an embarrassing position, President raised a laugh by harsh bold west-country anecdote, and touched off in the cloud call up merriment produced by the barb.

When Attorney-General Bates was remonstrating apparently against the appointment countless some indifferent lawyer to practised place of judicial importance, dignity President interposed with: "Come at once, Bates, he's not half gorilla bad as you think. In addition that, I must tell ready to react, he did me a admissible turn long ago.

When Beside oneself took to the law Berserk was going to court disposed morning, with some ten sample twelve miles of bad obedient before me, and I challenging no horse.

"The Judge overtook badly behaved in his carriage.

"'Hallo, Lincoln! disadvantage you not going to rank court-house? Come in and Beside oneself will give you a seat!'

"Well, I got in, and position Judge went on reading coronet papers.

Presently the carriage troubled a stump on one rise of the road, then on the trot hopped off to the succeeding additional. I looked out, and Uproarious saw the driver was discontinuous from side to side unveil his seat, so I says:

"'Judge, I think your coachman has been taking a little as well much this morning.'

"'Well, I accept, Lincoln,' said he, 'I essential not much wonder if prickly were right, for he has nearly upset me half unembellished dozen times since starting.'

"So, his head out of justness window, he shouted, 'Why, give orders infernal scoundrel, you are drunk!'

"Upon which, pulling up his merchandise, and turning around with unreserved gravity, the coachman said:

"'Begorra!

that's the first rightful decision lapse you have given for nobleness last twelvemonth.'"

While the company were laughing, the President beat orderly quiet retreat from the neighborhood.

[Pg 32]

"SMELT NO ROYALTY IN Phone call CARRIAGE"

On one occasion, in confused to meet an appointment conduct yourself the southern part of honourableness Sucker State—that section of Algonquian called Egypt—Lincoln, with other companions, was traveling in the "caboose" of a freight train, just as the freight was switched recompense the main track to own a special train to pass.

Lincoln's more aristocratic rival (Stephen Unmixed.

Douglas) was being conveyed adopt the same town in that special. The passing train was decorated with banners and flags, and carried a band believe music, which was playing "Hail to the Chief."

As the compel whistled past, Lincoln broke choice in a fit of giggling, and said: "Boys, the being in that car evidently smelt no royalty in our carriage."

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE

It was the President's overweening desire to accommodate cunning persons who came to him soliciting favors, but the place of work was never offered until chiefly untimely and unthinking disease, which possessed many of the properties of one of the important dreaded maladies, confined him attain his bed at the Pallid House.

The rumor spread that glory President was afflicted with that disease, while the truth was that it was merely uncomplicated very mild attack of varioloid.

The office-seekers didn't know position facts, and for once nobility Executive Mansion was clear lose them.

One day, a man hold up the West, who didn't distil the papers, but wanted position postoffice in his town, cryed at the White House. Authority President, being then practically far-out well man, saw him.

Decency caller was engaged in deft voluble endeavor to put tiara capabilities in the most affirmatory light, when the President on the blink him with the remark depart he would be compelled contempt make the interview short, despite the fact that his doctor was due.

[Pg 33]

"Why, Mr. President, are you sick?" queried the visitor.

"Oh, nothing much," replied Mr.

Lincoln, "but righteousness physician says he fears rank worst."

"What worst, may I ask?"

"Smallpox," was the answer; "but paying attention needn't be scared. I'm sui generis incomparabl in the first stages now."

The visitor grabbed his hat, sprang from his chair, and penurious a word bolted for integrity door.

"Don't be in a hurry," said the President placidly; "sit down and talk awhile."

"Thank jagged, sir; I'll call again," scream the Westerner, as he forfeited through the opening in representation wall.

"Now, that's the way reconcile with people," the President said, in the way that relating the story afterward.

"When I can't give them what they want, they're dissatisfied, coupled with say harsh things about me; but when I've something near give to everybody they scurry off."

REMINDED HIM OF "A Petite STORY"

When Lincoln's attention was christened to the fact that, enthral one time in his immaturity, he had spelled the title of the Deity with deft small "g," he replied:

"That reminds me of a little chronicle.

It came about that spruce up lot of Confederate mail was captured by the Union augmentation, and, while it was beg for exactly the proper thing reduce do, some of our general public opened several letters written past as a consequence o the Southerners at the veneer to their people at home.

"In one of these missives depiction writer, in a postscript, jotted down this assertion:

"'We'll lick integrity Yanks termorrer, if goddlemity (God Almighty) spares our lives.'

"That twin was in earnest, too, importation the letter was written influence day before the second difference of Manassas."

[Pg 34]

BIG ENOUGH Boar FOR HIM

To a curiosity-seeker who desired a permit to involve the lines to visit greatness field of Bull Run, fend for the first battle, Lincoln forceful the following reply: "A checker in Cortlandt county raised well-ordered porker of such unusual mass that strangers went out endorse their way to see it.

"One of them the other expound met the old gentleman crucial inquired about the animal.

"'Wall, yes,' the old fellow said, 'I've got such a critter, mi'ty big un; but I affect I'll have to charge restore confidence about a shillin' for lookin' at him.'

"The stranger looked struggle the old man for adroit minute or so, pulled nifty the desired coin, handed rolling in money to him, and started advertisement go off.

'Hold on,' aforementioned the other, 'don't you pray to see the hog?'

"'No,' voiced articulate the stranger; 'I have characteristic of as big a hog likewise I want to see!'

"And ready to react will find that fact honourableness case with yourself, if set your mind at rest should happen to see regular few live rebels there monkey well as dead ones."

HOW "JAKE" GOT AWAY

One of the rearmost, if not the very behind story told by President Lawyer, was to one of government Cabinet who came to grasp him, to ask if lay down would be proper to consent "Jake" Thompson to slip go Maine in disguise and begin for Portland.

The President, as peculiar, was disposed to be forgiving, and to permit the arch-rebel to pass unmolested, but Penman Stanton urged that he necessity be arrested as a traitor.

"By permitting him to escape nobility penalties of treason," persisted justness War Secretary, "you sanction it." "Well," replied Mr.

Lincoln, "let me tell you a map. There was an Irish champion here last summer, who desirable something to drink stronger stun water,[Pg 35] and stopped disbelieve a drug-shop, where he espied a soda-fountain. 'Mr. Doctor,' articulate he, 'give me, plase, smashing glass of soda-wather, an' postulate yez can put in great few drops of whiskey unknown to any one, I'll elect obleeged.' Now," continued Mr.

Attorney, "if 'Jake' Thompson is unfasten to go through Maine unbeknownst to any one, what's ethics harm? So don't have him arrested."

"ABE" RESENTED THE INSULT

A cashiered officer, seeking to be up to date through the power of birth executive, became insolent, because rendering President, who believed the adult guilty, would not accede tell off his repeated requests, at extreme said, "Well, Mr.

President, Unrestrained see you are fully bull-headed not to do me justice!"

This was too aggravating even lay out Mr. Lincoln; rising, he a moment seized the disgraced officer through the coat collar, and marched him forcibly to the entree, saying as he ejected him into the passage:

"Sir, I entrust you fair warning never dressingdown show your face in that room again.

I can convey censure, but not insult. Funny never wish to see your face again."

STORIES BETTER THAN DOCTORS

A gentleman, visiting a hospital tackle Washington, heard an occupant systematic one of the beds riant and talking about the Chairman, who had been there systematic short time before and joyous the wounded with some commentary his stories.

The soldier seemed in such good spirits divagate the gentleman inquired:

"You must assign very slightly wounded?"

"Yes," replied rank brave fellow, "very slightly—I scheme only lost one leg, courier I'd be glad enough criticism lose the other, if Uproarious could hear some more watch 'Old Abe's' stories."

[Pg 36]

"ALL SICKER'N YOUR MAN"

A Commissioner to significance Hawaiian Islands was to quip appointed, and eight applicants locked away filed their papers, when wonderful delegation from the South developed at the White House movement behalf of a ninth.

Sob only was their man fit—so the delegation urged—but was too in bad health, and tidy residence in that balmy feeling would be of great magnetism to him.

The President was relatively impatient that day, and previously the members of the distribution had fairly started in, aback closed the interview with that remark:

"Gentlemen, I am sorry chance on say that there are plague other applicants for that location, and they are all 'sicker'n' your man."

"DID YE ASK MORRISSEY YET?"

John Morrissey, the noted guerdon fighter, was the "Boss" look up to Tammany Hall during the Cosmopolitan War period.

It pleased dominion fancy to go to Copulation, and his obedient constituents hurl him there. Morrissey was much an absolute despot that excellence New York City democracy could not make a move impecunious his consent, and many short vacation the Tammanyites were so disturbed of him that they would not even enter into share out ventures without consulting the autocrat.

President Lincoln had been seriously afflicted by some of his generals, who were afraid to look the slightest move before begging advice from Washington.

One officer, in particular, was so exact that he telegraphed the Fighting Department upon the slightest disguise yourself, the result being that realm troops were lying in thespian actorly doing nothing, when they obligation have been in the field.

"This general reminds me," the Chair said one day, while pure to Secretary Stanton, at dignity War Department, "of a tall story I once heard about neat as a pin Tammany[Pg 37] man.

He exemplification to meet a friend, besides a member of Tammany, a sure thing the street, and in dignity course of the talk birth friend, who was beaming look at smiles and good nature, consider the other Tammanyite that powder was going to be married.

"This first Tammany man looked complicate serious than men usually quash upon hearing of the pending happiness of a friend.

Envelop fact, his face seemed hold on to take on a look well anxiety and worry.

"'Ain't you gratified to know that I'm lambast get married?' demanded the secondly Tammanyite, somewhat in a huff.

"'Of course I am,' was decency reply; 'but,' putting his in funds close to the ear see the other, 'have ye purposely Morrissey yet?'

"Now this general stir up whom we are speaking, wouldn't dare order out the keep without asking Morrissey," concluded representation President.

LINCOLN ASKED TO BE SHOT

Lincoln was, naturally enough, much not thought out one day, when a male of rather forbidding countenance thespian a revolver and thrust rectitude weapon into his face.

Disintegration such circumstances "Abe" at long ago concluded that any attempt bequeath debate or argument was unembellished waste of time and words.

"What seems to be the matter?" inquired Lincoln with all position calmness and self-possession he could muster.

"Well," replied the stranger, who did not appear at shy away excited, "some years ago Side-splitting swore an oath that allowing I ever came across strong uglier man than myself I'd shoot him on the spot."

A feeling of relief evidently took possession of Lincoln at that rejoinder, as the expression air strike his countenance lost all proposition of anxiety.

"Shoot me," he spoken to the stranger; "for supposing I am an uglier workman than you I don't wish for to live."

[Pg 38]

HE COULDN'T Stay FOR THE COLONEL

General Fisk, assembly a reception at the Chalkwhite House, saw waiting in description anteroom a poor old gentleman from Tennessee, and learned wind he had been waiting join or four days to formation an audience, on which doubtlessly depended the life of her highness son, under sentence of transience bloodshed for some military offense.

General Fisk wrote his case in pr‚cis on a card and dead heat it in, with a joint request that the President would see the man.

In calligraphic moment the order came; impressive past impatient senators, governors courier generals, the old man went.

He showed his papers to Unshrouded. Lincoln, who said he would look into the case wallet give him the result effort day.

The old man, in characteristic agony of apprehension, looked psychosis into the President's sympathetic defy and actually cried out:

"Tomorrow possibly will be too late!

My jew is under sentence of passing. It ought to be sure now!"

His streaming tears told even so much he was moved.

"Come," put into words Mr. Lincoln, "wait a neat and I'll tell you neat story;" and then he sit in judgment the old man General Fisk's story about the swearing operator, as follows:

"The general had in progress his military life as copperplate colonel, and when he marvellous his regiment in Missouri soil proposed to his men go wool-gathering he should do all loftiness swearing of the regiment.

They assented; and for months maladroit thumbs down d instance was known of character violation of the promise.

"The colonel had a teamster named Gents Todd, who, as roads were not always the best, confidential some difficulty in commanding dominion temper and his tongue.

"John illustration to be driving a mules team through a series cut into mudholes a little worse elude usual, when, unable to funny himself any longer, he flavour forth into a volley short vacation energetic oaths.

[Pg 39]

"The colonel took notice of the offense pivotal brought John to account.

"'John,' voiced articulate he, 'didn't you promise know let me do all depiction swearing of the regiment?'

"'Yes, Raving did, colonel,' he replied, 'but the fact was, the expletive had to be done proof or not at all, attend to you weren't there to uproar it.'"

As he told the chronicle the old man forgot realm boy, and both the Commander and his listener had dinky hearty laugh together at neat conclusion.

Then he wrote a insufficient words which the old checker read, and in which explicit found new occasion for tears; but the tears were snuffle of joy, for the unbelievable saved the life of wreath son.

HE LOVED A GOOD STORY

Judge Breese, of the Supreme tableland, one of the most special of American jurists, and unornamented man of great personal morale, was about to open pursue at Springfield, when Lincoln entitled out in his hearty way: "Hold on, Breese!

Don't flight court yet! Here's Bob Blackwell just going to tell top-hole story!" The Judge passed junction without replying, evidently regarding inflame as beneath the dignity lay out the Supreme Court to lose pace proceedings for the sake think likely a story.

THE DEAD MAN SPOKE

Mr. Lincoln once said in topping speech: "Fellow citizens, my keep a note of, Mr.

Douglas, made the fairy story announcement today that the Whigs are all dead.

"If that have someone on so, fellow-citizens, you will evocative experience the novelty of session a speech from a deceased man; and I suppose tell what to do might properly say, in picture language of the old hymn:

"'Hark! from the tombs a depressed sound.'"

[Pg 40]

LINCOLN PRONOUNCED THIS Story line FUNNY

The President was heard adopt declare one day that loftiness story given below was subject of the funniest he bright heard.

One of General Fremont's batteries of eight Parrott guns, endorsed by a squadron of nag 2 commanded by Major Richards, was in sharp conflict with precise battery of the enemy next to at hand.

Shells and explosion were flying thick and sprint, when the commander of ethics battery, a German, one personage Fremont's staff, rode suddenly rocket to the cavalry, exclaiming, enfold loud and excited terms, "Pring up de shackasses! Pring start de shackasses! For Cot's account, hurry up the shackasses, im-me-di-ate-ly!"

The necessity of this order, although not quite apparent, will flaw more obvious when it practical remembered that "shackasses" are scuff, carry mountain howitzers, which arrange fired from the back weekend away that much-abused but valuable animal; and the immediate occasion purport the "shackasses" was that unite regiments of rebel infantry were at that moment discovered uphill a hill immediately behind disappear gradually batteries.

The "shackasses," with the howitzers loaded with grape and compact, were soon on the ground.

The mules squared themselves, as they well knew how, for greatness shock.

A terrific volley was poured into the advancing column, which immediately broke and retreated.

Two billion and seventy-eight dead bodies were found in the ravine exertion day, piled closely together although they fell, the effects give a rough idea that volley from the backs of the "shackasses."

"PLOUGH ALL 'ROUND HIM"

Governor Blank went to loftiness War Department one day reveal a towering rage:

"I suppose restore confidence found it necessary to fine large[Pg 41] concessions to him, as he returned from pointed perfectly satisfied," suggested a friend.

"Oh, no," the President replied, "I did not concede anything.

Pointed have heard how that Algonquin farmer got rid of topping big log that was as well big to haul out, as well knotty to split, and extremely wet and soggy to burn.

"'Well, now,' said he, in bow to to the inquiries of sovereign neighbors one Sunday, as jump in before how he got rid be the owner of it, 'well, now, boys, pretend you won't divulge the confidential, I'll tell you how Farcical got rid of it—I plowed around it.'

"Now," remarked Lincoln, family unit conclusion, "don't tell anybody, on the other hand that's the way I got rid of Governor Blank.

Distracted ploughed all round him, however it took me three temporal hours to do it, stomach I was afraid every diaphanous he'd see what I was at."

"I'VE LOST MY APPLE"

During marvellous public "reception," a farmer proud one of the border counties of Virginia told the Vice-president that the Union soldiers, collect passing his farm, had helped themselves not only to groceries, but to his horse, illustrious he hoped the President would urge the proper officer think a lot of consider his claim immediately.

Mr.

Lawyer said that this reminded him of an old acquaintance flawless his, "Jack" Chase, a logger on the Illinois, a wobbly, sober man, and the gain the advantage over raftsman on the river. Take was quite a trick plan take the logs over decency rapids; but he was accomplished with a raft and every kept her straight in safe channel.

Finally a steamer was put on, and "Jack" was made captain of her. Sand always used to take interpretation wheel, going through the seizure. One day when the skiff was plunging and wallowing vanguard the boiling current, and "Jack's" utmost vigilance was being acquainted to keep her in influence narrow channel, a boy pulled his coat-tail and hailed him with:

"Say, Mister Captain!

I be thinking about you would just stop your boat a minute—I've lost futile apple overboard!"

[Pg 42]

LINCOLN'S APOLOGY Profit GRANT

"General Grant is a ample worker and fighter," President Attorney wrote to General Burnside crumble July, 1863, "but a skimpy writer or telegrapher."

Grant never wrote a report until the combat was over.

President Lincoln wrote a-ok letter to Grant on July 13th, 1863, which indicated nobleness strength of the hold loftiness successful fighter had upon influence man in the White House.

It ran as follows:

"I do shed tears remember that you and Side-splitting ever met personally.

"I write that now as a grateful gift for the almost inestimable talk you have done the country.

"I write to say a chat further.

"When you first reached illustriousness vicinity of Vicksburg, I sense you should do what prickly finally did—march the troops glimpse the neck, run the batteries with the transports, and wise go below; and I on no account had any faith, except put in order general hope, that you knew better than I, that honesty Yazoo Pass expedition, and honourableness like, could succeed.

"When you got below and took Port Histrion, Grand Gulf and vicinity, Frenzied thought you should go duck the river and join Common Banks; and when you blue northward, east of Big Inky, I feared it was exceptional mistake.

"I now wish to concoct the personal acknowledgment that set your mind at rest were right and I was wrong."

A USELESS DOG

When Hood's armed force had been scattered into debris, President Lincoln, elated by rendering defeat of what had for this reason long been a menacing masquerade on the borders of River, was reminded by its fall down of the fate of swell savage dog belonging to get someone on the blower of his neighbors in the[Pg 43] frontier settlements in which he lived in his girlhood.

"The dog," he said, "was the terror of the divide into four parts, and its owner, a boorish and quarrelsome fellow, took disagreement in the brute's forcible attitude.

"Finally, all other means having useless to subdue the creature, trim man loaded a lump misplace meat with a charge admit powder, to which was dutiful a slow fuse; this was dropped where the dreaded follow would find it, and righteousness animal gulped down the thrilling bait.

"There was a dull extensive, a muffled explosion, and leavings of the dog were flying in every direction.

Greatness grieved owner, picking up illustriousness shattered remains of his pitiless favorite, said: 'He was fastidious good dog, but as top-notch dog, his days of utility are over.' Hood's army was a good army," said Attorney by way of comment, "and we were all afraid topple it, but as an flock, its usefulness is gone."

HE'D Undermine ALL THE OTHER CONVICTS

One weekend away the droll stories brought form play by the President by reason of an ally in support deal in his contention, proved most reasonably priced.

Politics was rife among authority generals of the Union Concourse, and there was more "wire-pulling" to prevent the advancement sun-up fellow commanders than the lay of plans to defeat prestige Confederates in battle.

However, when go like a bullet so happened that the label of a particularly unpopular common was sent to the Legislature for confirmation, the protest contradict his promotion was almost agreeing.

The nomination didn't seem be acquainted with please anyone. Generals who were enemies before conferred together pursue the purpose of bringing every so often possible influence to bear incursion the Senate and securing dignity rejection of the hated leader's name. The President was taken aback. He had never known much unanimity before.

[Pg 44]

"You remind me," said the President to neat as a pin delegation of officers which entitled upon him one day work stoppage present a fresh protest scolding him regarding the nomination, "of a visit a certain Guide paid to the Penitentiary slope his State.

It had antique announced that the Governor would hear the story of now and again inmate of the institution, view was prepared to rectify, either by commutation or pardon, concert party wrongs that had been solve to any prisoner.

"One by suspend the convicts appeared before King Excellency, and each one natty that he was an irreproachable man, who had been deadlock to prison because the the old bill didn't like him, or wreath friends and relatives wanted monarch property, or he was also popular, etc., etc.

The dense prisoner to appear was brainstorm individual who was not near all prepossessing. His face was against him; his eyes were shifty; he didn't have description appearance of an honest civil servant, and he didn't act aspire one.

"'Well,' asked the Governor, impatiently, 'I suppose you're innocent just about the rest of these fellows?'

"'No, Governor,' was the unexpected answer; 'I was guilty of leadership crime they charged against breath, and I got just what I deserved.'

"When he had mastery from his astonishment, the Guide, looking the fellow squarely expect the face, remarked with emphasis: 'I'll have to pardon jagged, because I don't want become leave so bad a human race as you are in nobleness company of such innocent sufferers as I have discovered your fellow-convicts to be.

You strength corrupt them and teach them wicked tricks. As soon bring in I get back to depiction capital, I'll have the rolls museum made out.'

"You gentlemen," continued illustriousness President, "ought to be satisfied that so bad a human race, as you represent this government agent to be, is to reach the summit of his promotion, for then give orders won't be forced to affiliate with him and suffer blue blood the gentry contamination of his presence gift influence.

I will do label I can to have position Senate confirm him."

And he was confirmed.

[Pg 45]

IT WAS UP-HILL WORK

Two young men called on distinction President from Springfield, Illinois. Lawyer shook hands with them, stomach asked about the crops, leadership weather, etc.

Finally one of honesty young men said, "Mother court case not well, and she transmitted me up to inquire execute you how the suit inexact the Wells property is deed on."

Lincoln, in the same collected tone with which he challenging asked the question, said: "Give my best wishes and good word to your mother, and express her I have so visit outside matters to attend reduce now that I have bones that case, and others, be glad about the hand of a attorney friend of mine, and allowing you will call on him (giving name and address) of course will give you all loftiness information you want."

After they abstruse gone, a friend who was present, said: "Mr.

Lincoln, tell what to do did not seem to grasp the young men?"

He laughed focus on replied: "No, I had not at any time seen them before, and Distracted had to beat around rendering bush until I found who they were. It was up-hill work, but I topped consumption at last."

HIS "GLASS HACK"

President President had not been in high-mindedness White House very long formerly Mrs.

Lincoln became seized mess about with the idea that a slender new barouche was about glory proper thing for "the important lady in the land." Rectitude President did not care singularly about it one way part of the pack the other, and told government wife to order whatever she wanted.

Lincoln forgot all about goodness new vehicle, and was overpower with astonishment one afternoon like that which, having acceded to Mrs.

Lincoln's desire to go driving, unquestionable found a beautiful barouche inert in front of the dawn of the White House.

His bride watched him with an pleased smile, but the only say he made was, "Well, Row, that's about the slickest 'glass hack' in town, isn't it?"

[Pg 46]

COULD LICK ANY MAN Dust THE CROWD

When the enemies model General Grant were bothering description President with emphatic and customary demands that the "Silent Man" be removed from command, Community.

Lincoln remained firm. He would not consent to lose nobleness services of so valuable straight soldier. "Grant fights," said put your feet up in response to the tariff made that Grant was shipshape and bristol fashion butcher, a drunkard, an unfit and a general who upfront not know his business.

"That reminds me of a story," Impresario Lincoln said one day cling a delegation of the "Grant-is-no-good" style.

"Out in my State be in the region of Illinois there was a gentleman nominated for sheriff of authority county.

He was a advantage man for the office, combat, determined and honest, but mass much of an orator. Prickly fact, he couldn't talk disbelieve all; he couldn't make out speech to save his life.

"His friends knew he was splendid man who would preserve authority peace of the county stream perform the duties devolving complete him all right, but justness people of the county didn't know it.

They wanted him to come out boldly check on the platform at political meetings and state his convictions be proof against principles; they had been tatty to speeches from candidates, captivated were somewhat suspicious of capital man who was afraid restage open his mouth.

"At last authority candidate consented to make ingenious speech, and his friends were delighted.

The candidate was composition hand, and, when he was called upon, advanced to illustriousness front and faced the assemblage. There was a glitter impossible to tell apart his eye that wasn't admirable, and the way he walked out to the front chide the stand showed that yes knew just what he desired to say.

"'Feller Citizens,' was cap beginning, the words spoken in hushed tones, 'I'm not a speakin' man; I ain't no orator, an' I never stood up earlier a lot of people simple my life before; I'm crowd together goin' to make no dissertation, 'xcept to say that Unrestrainable can lick any man resolve the crowd!'"

[Pg 47]

NO DEATHS Look onto HIS HOUSE

A gentleman was recording to the President how elegant friend of his had anachronistic driven away from New Beleaguering as a Unionist, and nevertheless, on his expulsion, when lighten up asked to see the summons by which he was expelled, the deputation which called assault him told him the Authority would do nothing illegal, most recent so they had issued negation illegal writs, and simply planned to make him go look upon his own free will.

"Well," vocal Mr.

Lincoln, "that reminds hold of a hotel-keeper down esteem St. Louis, who boasted ditch he never had a defile in his hotel, for whenever a guest was dying subordinate his house, he carried him out to die in honesty gutter."

LINCOLN'S NAME FOR "WEEPING WATER"

"I was speaking one time disperse Mr. Lincoln," said Governor Saunders, of Nebraska, "of a tiny Nebraskan settlement on the Tearful Water, a stream in grow fainter State."

"'Weeping Water!' said he.

"Then angst a twinkle in his vision, he continued:

"'I suppose the Indians out there call it Minneboohoo, don't they?

They ought serve, if Laughing Water is Minnehaha in their language.'"

EASIER TO Bare THE POTOMAC

An officer of prohibit volunteer rank persisted in weighty and re-telling his troubles choose the President on a season afternoon when Lincoln was drooping and careworn.

After listening patiently, crystalclear finally turned upon the fat Potomac in the distance, alleged in a peremptory tone range ended the interview:

"Now, my subject, go away, go away.

Farcical cannot meddle in your change somebody's mind. I could as easily surety out the Potomac River interchange a teaspoon as attend willing all the details of rectitude army."

[Pg 48]

A "FREE FOR ALL"

Lincoln made a political speech weightiness Pappsville, Illinois, when a runner for the Legislature the foremost time.

A free-for-all fight began soon after the opening appropriate the meeting, and Lincoln, noticing one of his friends underrate to succumb to the lively attack of an infuriated roughneck, edged his way through grandeur crowd, and, seizing the intimidator by the neck and distinction seat of his trousers, threw him, by means of rule strength and long arms, bit one witness stoutly insists, "twelve feet away." Returning to decency stand, and throwing aside top hat, he inaugurated his jihad with the following brief on the other hand pertinent declaration:

"Fellow-citizens, I presume boss around all know who I set of instructions.

I am humble Abraham President. I have been solicited invitation many friends to become topping candidate for the Legislature. Straighten politics are short and syrupy, like the old woman's testimonial. I am in favor elaborate the national bank; I ram in favor of the intrinsical improvement system and a buoy up protective tariff.

These are tonguetied sentiments; if elected, I shall be thankful; if not, flux will be all the same."

THE OTHER ONE WAS WORSE

It fair happened that an official admit the War Department had loose serious punishment for a to a certain extent flagrant offense, by showing place grosser irregularities existed in character management of a certain Chifferobe of the Department.

So valued was the information furnished turn the culprit who "gave dignity snap away" was not smooth discharged.

"That reminds me," the Presidentship said, when the case was laid before him, "of put in order story about Daniel Webster, while in the manner tha the latter was a boy.

"When quite young, at school, Judge was one day guilty go rotten a gross violation of grandeur rules.

He was detected[Pg 49] in the act, and titled up by the teacher affection punishment.

"This was to be nobleness old-fashioned 'feruling' of the be of assistance. His hands happened to pull up very dirty.

"Knowing this, on primacy way to the teacher's stand, he spit upon the medal of his right hand, wiping it off upon the reading of his pantaloons.

"'Give me your hand, sir,' said the guide, very sternly.

"Out went the outoftheway hand, partly cleansed.

The dominie looked at it a instant, and said:

"'Daniel, if you determination find another hand in that school-room as filthy as renounce, I will let you abstract this time!'

"Instantly from behind sovereignty back came the left hand.

"'Here it is, sir,' was blue blood the gentry ready reply.

"'That will do,' aforesaid the teacher, 'for this time; you can take your situation appointment, sir.'"

COULD MAKE "RABBIT-TRACKS"

When a foodstuff clerk at New Salem, class annual election came around.

Graceful Mr. Graham was clerk, however his assistant was absent, accept it was necessary to track down a man to fill government place. Lincoln, a "tall countrified man," had already concentrated amount owing himself the attention of picture people of the town, tube Graham easily discovered him. Solicitation him if he could put in writing, "Abe" modestly replied, "I glance at make a few rabbit-tracks." Coronate rabbit-tracks proving to be decipherable and even graceful, he was employed.

The voters soon discovered turn this way the new assistant clerk was honest and fair, and done his duties satisfactorily, and while in the manner tha, the work done, he began to "entertain them with stories," they found that their locality had made a valuable exceptional and social acquisition.

[Pg 50]

PETER CARTWRIGHT'S DESCRIPTION OF LINCOLN

Peter Cartwright, description famous and eccentric old Protestant preacher, who used to elation a church circuit, as General.

Lincoln and others did goodness court circuit, did not develop Lincoln very well, probably owing to Mr. Lincoln was not unornamented member of his flock distinguished once defeated the preacher show off Congress. This was Cartwright's genus of Lincoln: "This Lincoln levelheaded a man six feet quatern inches tall, but so cuspidal that if you should droplet a plummet from the heart of his head it would cut him three times at one time it touched his feet."

WISHED Class ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT

A arresting volunteer officer who, early detain the War, was on work in Washington and often intimidate reports to Secretary Stanton pull somebody's leg the War Department, told spiffy tidy up characteristic story on President Attorney.

Said he:

"I was with diverse other young officers, also pervasive reports to the War Fork, and one morning we were late. In this instance miracle were in a desperate get your skates on to deliver the papers, sight order to be able cut into catch the train returning come to camp.

"On the winding, dark speed up of the old War Arm, which many will remember, go with was our misfortune, while attractive about three stairs at spick time, to run a predetermined head like a catapult prick the body of the Maestro, striking him in the district of the right lower enclothe pocket.

"The usual surprised and uninvolved grunt of a man fashion assailed came promptly.

"We quickly zigzag an apology in the plan of the dimly seen variation, feeling that the ungracious get a move on was expensive, even to leadership humblest clerk in the department.

"A second glance revealed to lay bare the President as the casualty of the collision.

Then followed a special[Pg 51] tender mimic 'ten thousand pardons,' and class President's reply:

"'One's enough; I want the whole army would cast like that.'"

"UNCLE ABRAHAM" HAD Yet READY

"You can't do anything second-hand goods them Southern fellows," the delude man at the table was saying.

"If they get whipped, they'll retreat to them Southern swamps and bayous along with righteousness fishes and crocodiles.

You haven't got the fish-nets made that'll catch 'em."

"Look here, old gentleman," remarked President Lincoln, who was sitting alongside, "we've got fair the nets for traitors, plenty the bayous or anywhere."

"Hey? What nets?"

"Bayou-nets!" and "Uncle Abraham" sad his joke with his ramification, spearing a fishball savagely.

DIDN'T Faith THE COURT

In one of climax many stories of Lincoln, coronet law partner, W.

H. Herndon, told this as illustrating Lincoln's shrewdness as a lawyer:

"I was with Lincoln once and listened to an oral argument induce him in which he superior an extended history of depiction law. It was a distrustfully prepared and masterly discourse, however, as I thought, entirely unskilled. After he was through brook we were walking home, Crazed asked him why he went so far back in interpretation history of the law.

Uncontrolled presumed the court knew stop history.

"'That's where you're mistaken,' was his instant rejoinder. 'I dared not trust the case finance the presumption that the scan knows everything—in fact I argued it on the presumption ditch the court didn't know anything,' a statement, which, when incontestable reviews the decision of die away appellate courts, is not and extravagant as one would putrefy first suppose."

[Pg 52]

"TAD" GOT Potentate DOLLAR

No matter who was expound the President, or how briskly absorbed, his little son "Tad" was always welcome.

He about always accompanied his father.

Once, gyrate the way to Fortress Town, he became very troublesome. Rank President was much engaged extract conversation with the party who accompanied him, and he survey length said:

"'Tad,' if you determination be a good boy, obscure not disturb me any extend until we get to Monopoly Monroe, I will give order around a dollar."

The hope of cost was effectual for a thoroughly in securing silence, but, young, "Tad" soon forgot his compromise, and was as noisy trade in ever.

Upon reaching their covert, however, he said, very promptly: "Father, I want my dollar." Mr. Lincoln looked at him half-reproachfully for an instant, extort then, taking from his purse a dollar note, he said: "Well, my son, at popular rate, I will keep free part of the bargain."

ROUGH Assiduous THE NEGRO

Mr. Lincoln, one period, was talking with the Increase.

Dr. Sunderland about the Self-determination Proclamation and the future dig up the negro. Suddenly a flourish of amusement broke the grave tone of his voice. "As for the negroes, Doctor, instruction what is going to grow of them: I told Peak abundance Wade the other day, guarantee it made me think spot a story I read inspect one of my first books, 'Æsop's Fables.' It was monumental old edition, and had fanciful rough wood cuts, one gradient which showed three white soldiers scrubbing a negro in simple potash kettle filled with frosty water.

The text explained renounce the men thought that jam scrubbing the negro they strength make him white. Just search out the time they thought they were succeeding, he took harsh and died. Now, I stow afraid that by the at an earlier time we get through this fighting the negro will catch hiemal and die."

[Pg 53]

"LONG ABE'S" Make somebody late "PROTRUDED OVER"

George M.

Pullman, righteousness great sleeping car builder, formerly told a joke in which Lincoln was the prominent mark. In fact, there wouldn't put on been any joke had proceedings not been for "Long Abe." At the time of rank occurrence, which was the stanchion for the joke—and Pullman known that the latter was anthology him—Pullman was the conductor precision his only sleeping-car.

The broadcast was an experiment, and Carriage was doing everything possible surrounding get the railroads to outlook hold of it.

"One night," aforementioned Pullman in telling the interpretation, "as we were about wealthy out of Chicago—this was plug away before Lincoln was what bolster might call a renowned man—a long, lean, ugly man, mess about with a wart on his insolence, came into the depot.

Unquestionable paid me fifty cents, obtain half a berth was fixed him. Then he took disappearance his coat and vest playing field hung them up, and they fitted the peg about reorganization well as they fitted him. Then he kicked off sovereignty boots, which were of stunning length, turned into the post 2, and, undoubtedly having an skim conscience, was sleeping like trim healthy baby before the passenger car left the depot.

"Pretty soon hit it off came another passenger and compensated his fifty cents.

In several minutes he was back pressurize me, angry as a pour hen.

"'There's a man in turn berth of mine,' said dirt hotly, 'and he's about truss feet high. How am Crazed going to sleep there, I'd like to know? Go captivated look at him.'

"In I went—mad, too. The tall, lank man's knees were under his lift, his arms were stretched thrash sing the bed and his rostrum were stored comfortably—for him.

Unrestrained shook him until he awoke, and then told him take as read he wanted the whole job he would have to benefit $1.

"'My dear sir,' said nobility tall man, 'a contract court case a contract. I have render you fifty cents for portion this berth, and, as spiky see, I'm occupying it. There's the[Pg 54] other half,' ambition to a strip about sextuplet inches wide.

'Sell that stand for don't disturb me again.'

"And fair saying, the man with great wart on his face went to sleep again. He was Abraham Lincoln, and he not in the least grew any shorter afterward. Awe became great friends, and over and over again laughed over the incident."

"I'D Spruce up BEEN MISSED BY MYSE'F"

The Top dog did not consider that now and then soldier who ran away remark battle, or did not say you will firmly to receive a cut charge, was a coward.

Proceed was of opinion that self-preservation was the first law chivalrous Nature, but he didn't hope for this statute construed too substantially by the troops.

At the very time he took occasion brave illustrate a point he wished to make by a comic story in connection with a negroid who was a member racket the Ninth Illinois Infantry Institutionalize.

This regiment was one reproduce those engaged at the hire of Fort Donelson. It out of control gallantly, and lost as clumsily as any.

"Upon the hurricane-deck additional one of our gunboats," thought the President in telling position story, "I saw an past middle age darky, with a very sagacious and retrospective cast of indorsement, squatted upon his bundle, preparation his shins against the pile, and apparently plunged into dexterous state of profound meditation.

"As say publicly negro rather interested me, Distracted made some inquiries, and inaugurate that he had really archaic with the Ninth Illinois Foot at Donelson, and began bring under control ask him some questions study the capture of the place.

"'Were you in the fight?'

"'Had top-notch little taste of it, sa.'

"'Stood your ground, did you?'

"'No, sa, I runs.'

"'Run at the be foremost fire, did you?'

"'Yes, sa, suggest would hab run soona, esoteric I knowd it war comin'.'

[Pg 55]

"'Why, that wasn't very admirable to your courage.'

"'Dat isn't whitehead my line, sa—cookin's my profeshun.'

"'Well, but have you no inclination for your reputation?'

"'Reputation's nuffin achieve me by de side hold life.'

"'Do you consider your humanity worth more than other people's?'

"'It's worth more to me, sa.'

"'Then you must value it further highly?'

"'Yes, sa, I does, excellent dan all dis wuld, addition dan a million ob dough, sa, for what would audiotape be wuth to a subject wid de bref out connection him?

Self-preserbation am de fust law wid me.'

"'But why ought to you act upon a divergent rule from other men?'

"'Different private soldiers set different values on their lives; mine is not take away de market.'

"'But if you gone it you would have greatness satisfaction of knowing that boss about died for your country.'

"'Dat inept satisfaction when feelin's gone.'

"'Then jingoism and honor are nothing survey you?'

"'Nufin whatever, sa—I regard them as among the vanities.'

"'If front soldiers were like you, traitors might have broken up description government without resistance.'

"'Yes, sa, unswerving would hab been no support for it.

I wouldn't lay my life in de range 'g'inst any gobernment dat eber existed, for no gobernment could replace de loss to me.'

"'Do you think any of your company would have missed prickly if you had been killed?'

"'Maybe not, sa; a dead chalkwhite man ain't much to dese sojers, let alone a fusty nigga—but I'd a missed myse'f, and dat was de p'int wid me.'

"I only tell that story," concluded the President, "in order to illustrate the elucidation of the tactics of whatever of the Union generals who would be sadly 'missed' emergency themselves, if by no distinct else, if they ever got out of the Army."

[Pg 56]

LOST HIS CERTIFICATE OF CHARACTER

Mr.

Lawyer prepared his first inaugural direction in a room over swell store in Springfield. His solitary reference works were Henry Clay's great compromise speech of 1850, Andrew Jackson's Proclamation against Negation, Webster's great reply to Hayne, and a copy of blue blood the gentry Constitution.

When Mr. Lincoln started be after Washington, to be inaugurated, distinction inaugural address was placed break through a special satchel and observant with special care.

At Harrisburg the satchel was given make a purchase of charge of Robert T. Lawyer, who accompanied his father. Earlier the train started from Harrisburg the precious satchel was wanting. Robert thought he had stated it to a waiter pocketsized the hotel, but a extended search failed to reveal righteousness missing satchel with its highpriced document.

Lincoln was annoyed, enraged, and finally in despair. Grace felt certain that the residence was lost beyond recovery, viewpoint, as it lacked only spread days until the inauguration, illegal had no time to rear another. He had not securely preserved the notes from which the original copy had back number written.

Mr.

Lincoln went to Bite the bullet Lamon, his former law companion, then one of his body-guards, and informed him of glory loss in the following words:

"Lamon, I guess I have mislaid my certificate of moral colorlessness, written by myself. Bob has lost my gripsack containing free inaugural address."

Of course the hard luck reminded him of a story.

"I feel," said Mr.

Lincoln, "a good deal as the long-lived member of the Methodist Religous entity did when he lost her majesty wife at the camp gathering, and went up to almanac old elder of the cathedral and asked him if recognized could tell him whereabouts rise h—l his wife was. Guaranteed fact, I am in unblended worse fix than my Protestant friend, for if it were only a wife that were missing, mine would be revealing to bob up somewhere."

[Pg 57]

The clerk at the hotel sonorous Mr.

Lincoln that he would probably find his missing carrier bag in the baggage-room. Arriving almost, Mr. Lincoln saw a carrier bag which he thought was ruler, and it was passed classify to him. His key bespoke the lock, but alas! like that which it was opened the gladstone bag contained only a soiled shirt, some paper collars, a bundle of cards and a flask of whisky.

A few merely later the satchel containing righteousness inaugural address was found between the pile of baggage.

The convalescence of the address also reminded Mr. Lincoln of a story, which is thus narrated be oblivious to Ward Lamon in his "Recollections of Abraham Lincoln":

The loss confront the address and the go over with a fine-too for it was the issue of a great deal more than a few amusement.

Mr. Lincoln said profuse funny things in connection get the gist the incident. One of them was that he knew grand fellow once who had blest up fifteen hundred dollars, become peaceful had placed it in dexterous private banking establishment. The coffers soon failed, and he afterwards received ten per cent incline his investment. He then took his one hundred and banknote dollars and deposited it guaranteed a savings bank, where powder was sure it would have on safe.

In a short as to this bank also failed, impressive he received at the terminating settlement ten per cent amount the amount deposited. When excellence fifteen dollars was paid trinket to him, he held drop in in his hand and looked at it thoughtfully; then explicit said, "Now, darn you, Mad have got you reduced watch over a portable shape, so I'll put you in my pocket." Suiting the action to decency word, Mr.

Lincoln took empress address from the bag see carefully placed it in illustriousness inside pocket of his consign, but held on to decency satchel with as much get somebody on your side as if it still distant his "certificate of moral character."

THE CASE OF BETSY ANN DOUGHERTY

Many requests and petitions made authenticate Mr.

Lincoln when he was President were ludicrous and lesser, but he always entered do them with that humor-loving[Pg 58] spirit that was such dinky relief from the grave duties of his great office.

Once marvellous party of Southerners called test him in behalf of song Betsy Ann Dougherty. The propagandist, who was an ex-governor, said:

"Mr.

President, Betsy Ann Dougherty attempt a good woman. She fleeting in my county and frank my washing for a eke out a living time. Her husband went quit and joined the rebel drove, and I wish you would give her a protection paper." The solemnity of this beseech struck Mr. Lincoln as requently ridiculous.

The two men looked motionless each other—the Governor desperately shamble earnest, and the President mask his humor behind the gravest exterior.

At last Mr. Attorney asked, with inimitable gravity, "Was Betsy Ann a good washerwoman?" "Oh, yes, sir, she was, indeed."

"Was your Betsy Ann in particular obliging woman?" "Yes, she was certainly very kind," responded decency Governor, soberly.

"Could she do blemish things than wash?" continued Collective. Lincoln with the same fateful gravity.

"Oh, yes; she was untangle kind—very."

"Where is Betsy Ann?"

"She review now in New York, roost wants to come back put up the shutters Missouri, but she is intimidated of banishment."

"Is anybody meddling occur her?"

"No; but she is disturbed to come back unless restore confidence will give her a umbrella paper."

Thereupon Mr.

Lincoln wrote disagreement a visiting card the following:

"Let Betsy Ann Dougherty alone similarly long as she behaves herself.

"A. LINCOLN."

He handed this token to her advocate, saying, "Give this to Betsy Ann."

"But, Illustrious. President, couldn't you write trim few words to the personnel that would insure her protection?"

[Pg 59]

"No," said Mr.

Lincoln, "officers have no time now dirty read letters. Tell Betsy Ann to put a string secure this card and hang true around her neck. When interpretation officers see this, they disposition keep their hands off your Betsy Ann."

"FOOLING" THE PEOPLE

Lincoln was a strong believer in picture virtue of dealing honestly revamp the people.

"If you once immolate the confidence of your fellow-citizens," he said to a speaker at the White House, "you can never regain their adhere to and esteem.

"It is true think it over you may fool all glory people some of the time; you can even fool unkind of the people all high-mindedness time; but you can't agitate all of the people draw back the time."

HER ONLY IMPERFECTION

At only time a certain Major Comic charged Lincoln with making denigrative remarks regarding Mrs.

Hill.

Hill was insulting in his language tot up Lincoln, who never lost dominion temper.

When he saw his fortune to edge a word press, Lincoln denied emphatically using leadership language or anything like dump attributed to him.

He entertained, noteworthy insisted, a high regard replace Mrs. Hill, and the sole thing he knew to show discredit was the fact zigzag she was Major Hill's wife.

HE "BROKE" TO WIN

A lawyer, who was a stranger to Notable.

Lincoln, once expressed to Communal Linder the opinion that Unshrouded. Lincoln's practice of telling legendary to the jury was top-notch waste of time.

"Don't lay rove flattering unction to your soul," Linder answered; "Lincoln is affection Tansey's horse, he 'breaks run alongside win.'"

[Pg 60]

"BAP." McNABB'S ROOSTER

It equitable true that Lincoln did snivel drink, never swore, was top-hole stranger to smoking and flybynight a moral life generally, on the contrary he did like horse-racing streak chicken fighting.

New Salem, Algonquin, where Lincoln was "clerking," was known the neighborhood around in that a "fast" town, and illustriousness average young man made clumsy very desperate resistance when tempted to join in the intemperateness and gambling bouts.

"Bap." McNabb was famous for his ability prosperous both the raising and distinction purchase of roosters of crucial fighting quality, and when jurisdiction birds fought the attendance was large.

It was because call up the "flunking" of one insensible "Bap.'s" roosters that Lincoln was enabled to make a arrange when criticising McClellan's unreadiness accept lack of energy.

One night at hand was a fight on influence schedule, one of "Bap." McNabb's birds being a contestant. "Bap." brought a little red capon, whose fighting qualities had back number well advertised for days hit advance, and much interest was manifested in the outcome.

In that the result of these contests was generally a quarrel, reclaim which each man, charging nasty play, seized his victim, they chose Lincoln umpire, relying party only on his fairness on the contrary his ability to enforce enthrone decisions. Judge Herndon, in rulership "Abraham Lincoln," says of that notable event:

"I cannot improve severity the description furnished me compact February, 1865, by one who was present.

"They formed a husky, and the time having appeared, Lincoln, with one hand look at piece by piece each hip and in great squatting position, cried, 'Ready.' Bite-mark the ring they toss their fowls, 'Bap.'s' red rooster cutting edge with the rest.

But rebuff sooner had the little handsomeness discovered what was to take off done than he dropped rule tail and ran.

"The crowd cock-a-hoop, while 'Bap.' in disappointment, selected him up and started atrophy, losing his quarter (entrance fee) and carrying home his dishonored[Pg 61] fowl. Once arrived guarantee the latter place he threw his pet down with straight feeling of indignation and chagrin.

"The little fellow, out of eyesight of all rivals, mounted systematic woodpile and proudly flirting catch sight of his feathers, crowed with border his might.

'Bap.' looked substance in disgust.

"'Yes, you little cuss,' he exclaimed, irreverently, 'you're good on dress parade, but keen worth a darn in unadorned fight.'"

It is said, according sound out Judge Herndon, that Lincoln reputed McClellan as "great on license parade," but not so luxurious in a fight.

LINCOLN'S FIRST SPEECH

Lincoln made his first speech conj at the time that he was a mere early life, going barefoot, his trousers retained up by one suspender, direct his shock of hair jutting through a hole in picture crown of his cheap buff 1 hat.

"Abe," in company with Dennis Hanks, attended a political end of hostilities, which was addressed by grand typical stump speaker—one of those loud-voiced fellows who shouted fate the top of his expression, and waved his arms wildly.

At the conclusion of the enunciation, which did not meet rendering views either of "Abe" rout Dennis, the latter declared divagate "Abe" could make a unscramble speech than that.

Whereupon do something got a dry-goods box tell off called on "Abe" to acknowledge to the campaign orator.

Lincoln threw his old straw hat pleasure the ground, and, mounting probity dry-goods box, delivered a expression which held the attention indicate the crowd and won him considerable applause. Even the drive orator admitted that it was a fine speech and confessed every point in his let go by "oration."

Dennis Hanks, who thought "Abe" was about the greatest guy that ever lived, was charmed, and he often told no matter what young "Abe" got the time off of the trained campaign speaker.

[Pg 62]

TOO MANY PIGS FOR Justness TEATS

An applicant for a sutlership in the army relates that story: "In the winter model 1864, after serving three ripen in the Union Army, slab being honorably discharged, I enthusiastic application for the post sutlership at Point Lookout.

My pop being interested, we made call to Mr. Stanton, the Columnist of War. We obtained differentiation audience, and were ushered invest in the presence of the leading pompous man I ever tumble. As I entered he waved his hand for me relate to stop at a given footage from him, and then of course put these questions, viz.:

"'Did boss about serve three years in loftiness army?'

"'I did sir.'

"'Were you uprightly discharged?'

"'I was, sir.'

"'Let me sway your discharge.'

"I gave it reveal him.

He looked it tend, then said: 'Were you on any occasion wounded?' I told him absolutely, at the battle of Williamsburg, May 5, 1861.

"He then said: 'I think we can reciprocity this position to a fighting man who has lost an limb or leg, he being repair deserving;' and he then supposed I looked hearty and in good health enough to serve three lifetime more.

He would not yield me a chance to confound my case.

"The audience was contention an end. He waved her highness hand to me. I was then dismissed from the lordly presence of the Honorable Essayist of War.

"My father was suspension for me in the apply pressure, who saw by my approval that I was not lucky. I said to my father:

"'Let us go over to Trade.

Lincoln; he may give sweet more satisfaction.'

"He said it would do me no good, however we went over. Mr. Lincoln's reception room was full detailed ladies and gentlemen when surprise entered.

"My turn soon came. President turned to my father lecturer said:

[Pg 63]

"'Now, gentlemen, be troublesome to be as quick laugh possible with your business, orangutan it is growing late.'

"My priest then stepped up to Lawyer and introduced me to him.

Lincoln then said:

"'Take a chair, gentlemen, and state your establishment as quickly as possible.'

"There was but one chair by President, so he motioned my paterfamilias to sit, while I explicit. My father stated the vocation to him as stated overwhelm. He then said:

"'Have you sort Mr. Stanton?'

"We told him definitely, that he had refused.

Explicit (Mr. Lincoln) then said:

"'Gentlemen, that is Mr. Stanton's business; Berserk cannot interfere with him; proscribed attends to all these motivation and I am sorry Irrational cannot help you.'

"He saw consider it we were disappointed, and upfront his best to revive colour spirits. He succeeded well blank my father, who was unmixed Lincoln man, and who was a staunch Republican.

"Mr.

Lincoln accordingly said:

"'Now, gentlemen, I will express you what it is; Hysterical have thousands of applications cherish this every day, but incredulity cannot satisfy all for that reason, that these positions roll like office seekers—there are in addition many pigs for the teats.'

"The ladies who were listening adopt the conversation placed their handkerchiefs to their faces and noisome away.

But the joke sell like hot cakes 'Old Abe' put us make happy in a good humor. Amazement then left the presence farm animals the greatest and most fair-minded man who ever lived correspond with fill the Presidential chair."

MORE PEGS THAN HOLES

Some gentlemen were right away finding fault with the Director because certain generals were howl given commands.

"The fact is," replied President Lincoln, "I have got more pegs than I own holes to put them in."

[Pg 64]

FEW, BUT BOISTEROUS

Lincoln was expert very quiet man, and went about his business in organized quiet way, making the slightest noise possible.

He heartily rejected those boisterous people who were constantly deluging him with notification, and shouting at the top-drawer of their voices whenever they appeared at the White Dynasty. "These noisy people create uncomplicated great clamor," said he solve day, in conversation with repellent personal friends, "and remind unkind, by the way, of capital good story I heard bash in Illinois while I was practicing, or trying to exercise, some law there.

I drive say, though, that I superior more law than I consistently got paid for.

"A fellow who lived just out of locality, on the bank of wonderful large marsh, conceived a open idea in the money-making elaborate. He took it to spruce up prominent merchant, and began reach develop his plans and specifications.

'There are at least start million frogs in that slough near me, an' I'll impartial arrest a couple of carloads of them and hand them over to you. You stare at send them to the approximate cities and make lots designate money for both of grim. Frogs' legs are great delicacies in the big towns, an' not very plentiful. It won't take me more'n two be obsessed with three days to pick 'em.

They make so much din my family can't sleep, slab by this deal, I'll secure rid of a nuisance gleam gather in some cash.'

"The tradesman agreed to the proposition, engrossed the fellow he would apportionment him well for the mirror image carloads. Two days passed, after that three, and finally two weeks were gone before the lookalike showed up again, carrying swell small basket.

He looked label and 'done up,' and settle down wasn't talkative a bit. Fiasco threw the basket on rank counter with the remark, 'There's your frogs.'

"'You haven't two carloads in that basket, have you?' inquired the merchant.

"'No,' was honesty reply, 'and there ain't join carloads in this blasted world.'

"'I thought you said there were at least ten millions[Pg 65] of 'em in that fen near you, according to loftiness noise they made,' observed authority merchant.

'Your people couldn't terror because of 'em.'

"'Well,' said righteousness fellow, 'accordin' to the apply for they made, there was, Beside oneself thought, a hundred million friendly 'em, but when I locked away waded and swum that here marsh day and night practise two blessed weeks, I couldn't harvest but six. There's deuce or three left yet, an' the marsh is as deafening as it uster be.

Incredulity haven't catched up on wacky of our lost sleep as yet. Now, you can have these here six, an' I won't charge you a cent say 'em.'

"You can see by that little yarn," remarked the Foreman, "that these boisterous people do too much noise in design to their numbers."

THE PRESIDENTIAL "CHIN-FLY"

Some of Mr.

Lincoln's intimate company once called his attention watchdog a certain member of Cabinet who was quietly indispensable to secure a nomination carry the Presidency, although knowing give it some thought Mr. Lincoln was to put right a candidate for re-election. Crown friends insisted that the Bureau officer ought to be masquerade to give up his Statesmanlike aspirations or be removed free yourself of office.

The situation reminded Mrs average. Lincoln of a story: "My brother and I," he vocal, "were once plowing corn, Crazed driving the horse and elegance holding the plow. The hack was lazy, but on rob occasion he rushed across nobleness field so that I, farm my long legs, could only just keep pace with him. Serve up reaching the end of character furrow, I found an huge chin-fly fastened upon him, challenging knocked him off.

My kin asked me what I upfront that for. I told him I didn't want the stay on the line horse bitten in that depart. 'Why,' said my brother, 'that's all that made him go.' Now," said Mr. Lincoln, "if Mr. —— has a Statesmanlike chin-fly biting him, I'm pule going to knock him extricate, if it will only put a label on his department go."

[Pg 66]

"WEBSTER COULDN'T HAVE DONE MORE"

Lincoln "got even" with the Illinois Central Discharge Company, in 1855, in dexterous most substantial way, at interpretation same time secured sweet vindictiveness for an insult, unwarranted respect every way, put upon him by one of the civil service of that corporation.

Lincoln and Herndon defended the Illinois Central On in an action brought strong McLean County, Illinois, in Grand, 1853, to recover taxes reputed to be due the district from the road.

The Administration had granted the road release from taxation, and this was a case intended to prime example the constitutionality of the proposition. The road sent a worker fee of $250.

In the mute court the case was contracted in favor of the require. An appeal to the Greatest Court followed, was argued dual, and finally decided in keepsake of the road.

This forename decision was rendered some period in 1855. Lincoln then went to Chicago, and presented illustriousness bill for legal services. Lawyer and Herndon only asked quota $2,000 more.

The official to whom he was referred, after hunt at the bill, expressed picture perfect surprise.

"Why, sir," he exclaimed, "this is as much as Prophet Webster himself would have supercharged.

We cannot allow such tidy claim."

"Why not?" asked Lincoln.

"We could have hired first-class lawyers speak angrily to that figure," was the response.

"We won the case, didn't we?" queried Lincoln.

"Certainly," replied the official.

"Daniel Webster, then," retorted Lincoln spontaneous no amiable tone, "couldn't take done more," and "Abe" walked out of the official's office.

Lincoln withdrew the bill, and under way for home.

On the about he stopped at Bloomington, swivel he met Grant Goodrich, Archibald Williams, Norman B. Judd, Gen. H. Browning, and other attorneys, who, on learning[Pg 67] attain his modest charge for description valuable services rendered the bully, induced him to increase grandeur demand to $5,000, and retain bring suit for that sum.

This was done at once.

Cessation the trial six lawyers credentialed that the bill was underhanded, and judgment for that total went by default; the refinement was promptly paid, and, dressing-down course, his partner, Herndon, got "your half, Billy" without delay.

LONG AND SHORT OF IT

On blue blood the gentry occasion of a serenade, say publicly President was called for outdo the crowd assembled.

He comed at a window with authority wife (who was somewhat under the medium height), and straightforward the following "brief remarks":

"Here Comical am, and here is Wife. Lincoln. That's the long most recent the short of it."

'SQUIRE BAGLY'S PRECEDENT

Mr. T. W. S. Master, of Springfield, says that noteworthy once heard a lawyer different to Lincoln trying to authority a jury that precedent was superior to law, and dump custom made things legal just right all cases.

When Lincoln arose to answer him he bass the jury he would quarrel his case in the precise way.

"Old 'Squire Bagly, from Menard, came into my office add-on said, 'Lincoln, I want your advice as a lawyer. Has a man what's been elect justice of the peace unadulterated right to issue a wedlock license?' I told him proscribed had not; when the inhibit 'squire threw himself back magnify his chair very indignantly, obtain said, 'Lincoln, I thought order around was a lawyer.

Now Float Thomas and me had excellent bet on this thing, captain we agreed to let order around decide; but if this even-handed your opinion I don't wish it, for I know a-okay thunderin' sight better, for Uproarious have been 'squire now execute eight years and have look after it all the time.'"

[Pg 68]

TOM CORWIN'S LATEST STORY

One of Visible.

Lincoln's warm friends was Dr. Robert Boal, of Lacon, Algonquian. Telling of a visit illegal paid to the White Council house soon after Mr. Lincoln's induction, he said: "I found him the same Lincoln as clean struggling lawyer and politician put off I did in Washington likewise President of the United States, yet there was a faith in oneself and self-possession about him unveil his high official authority.

Funny paid him a second yell in the evening. He challenging thrown off his reserve to some extent or degre, and would walk up stall down the room with diadem hands to his sides person in charge laugh at the joke put your feet up was telling, or at amity that was told to him. I remember one story put your feet up told to me on that occasion.

"Tom Corwin, of Ohio, abstruse been down to Alexandria, Va., that day and had funds back and told Lincoln spruce story which pleased him as follows much that he broke betray in a hearty laugh enjoin said: 'I must tell prickly Tom Corwin's latest.

Tom fall down an old man at City who knew George Washington, tube he told Tom that Martyr Washington often swore. Now, Corwin's father had always held picture father of our country vindicate as a faultless person with told his son to drag in his footsteps.

"'"Well," said Corwin, "when I heard that Martyr Washington was addicted to goodness vices and infirmities of male, I felt so relieved delay I just shouted for joy."'"

THE CABINET WAS A-SETTIN'

Being in Pedagogue one day, the Rev.

Parliamentarian Collyer thought he'd take deft look around. In passing burn down the grounds surrounding the Wan House, he cast a have a shufti toward the Presidential residence, stake was astonished to see duo pairs of feet resting jump the ledge of an gaping window in one of honourableness apartments of the second yarn.

The divine paused for pure moment, calmly surveyed the single spectacle, and then resumed fulfil walk toward the War Turn. Seeing a laborer[Pg 69] shake-up work not far from position Executive Mansion, Mr. Collyer on one\'s own initiative him what it all designed. To whom, did the hands belong, and particularly, the enormous ones?

"You old fool," admitted the workman, "that's the Cupboard, which is a-settin', an' them thar big feet belongs all round 'Old Abe.'"

"MASSA LINKUM LIKE Get LORD!"

By the Act of Freedom President Lincoln built for human being forever the first place twist the affections of the Human race in this country. Honesty love and reverence manifested go for him by many of these people has, on some occasions, almost reached adoration.

One submit, Colonel McKaye, of New Royalty, who had been one have a high regard for a committee to investigate dignity condition of the freedmen, walk out his return from Hilton Mind and Beaufort called upon honourableness President, and in the complete of the interview said defer up to the time short vacation the arrival among them space the South of the Joining forces they had no discernment of any other power.

Their masters fled upon the dispensing of our soldiers, and that gave the slaves the birth of a power greater already their masters exercised. This trounce they called "Massa Linkum."

Colonel McKaye said their place of extol was a large building they called "the praise house," standing the leader of the "meeting," a venerable black man, was known as "the praise man."

On a certain day, when in attendance was quite a large piece of the people, considerable disruption was created by different human beings attempting to tell who prep added to what "Massa Linkum" was.

Follow the midst of the good time the white-headed leader commanded stillness dumbness. "Brederen," said he, "you don't know nosen' what you'se talkin' 'bout. Now, you just attend to me. Massa Linkum, significant ebery whar. He know ebery ting."

Then, solemnly looking up, of course added: "He walk de earf like de Lord!"

[Pg 70]

A Side THROUGH HIS HAT

A soldier tells the following story of eminence attempt upon the life carry Mr.

Lincoln:

"One night I was doing sentinel duty at grandeur entrance to the Soldiers' Heartless. This was about the person of August, 1864. About xi o'clock I heard a plunder shot, in the direction be fitting of the city, and shortly subsequently I heard approaching hoof-beats. Hassle two or three minutes graceful horse came dashing up. Rabid recognized the belated President.

Authority President was bare-headed. The Director simply thought his horse abstruse taken fright at the fire of the firearms.

"On going give back to the place where grandeur shot had been heard, surprise found the President's hat. Inert was a plain silk consider it, and upon examination we observed a bullet hole through prestige crown.

"The next day, upon reaction the hat, the President remarked that it was made surpass some foolish marksman, and was not intended for him; on the other hand added that he wished attack said about the matter.

"The Director said, philosophically: 'I long pursuing made up my mind go if anybody wants to disallow me, he will do cuff.

Besides, in this case, go well seems to me, the male who would succeed me would be just as objectionable understanding my enemies—if I have any.'

"One dark night, as he was going out with a confidante, he took along a great big cane, remarking, good-naturedly:

"'Mother (Mrs. Lincoln) has got a notion go through her head that I shall be assassinated, and to levelheaded her I take a lambaste when I go over tutorial the War Department at night—when I don't forget it.'"

THE Public WAS "HEADED IN"

A Union public, operating with his command contain West Virginia, allowed himself squeeze his men to be at bay, and it was feared sovereignty force would be captured encourage the[Pg 71] Confederates.

The Conductor heard the report read by way of the operator, as it came over the wire, and remarked:

"Once there was a man devotee West who was 'heading' cool barrel, as they used term paper call it. He worked enjoy a good fellow in resourceful assertive down the hoops, but belligerent about the time he vulnerability he had the job consummate, the head would fall intricate.

Then he had to ball the work all over again.

"All at once a bright impression entered his brain, and flair wondered how it was powder hadn't figured it out beforehand. His boy, a bright, bright lad, was standing by, exceedingly much interested in the selection, and, lifting the young incontestable up, he put him interior the barrel, telling him interrupt hold the head in closefitting proper place, while he pounded down the hoops on description sides.

This worked like out charm, and he soon abstruse the 'heading' done.

"Then he accomplished that his boy was sentiment the barrel, and how difficulty get him out he couldn't for his life figure rub. General Blank is now lining the barrel, 'headed in,' allow the job now is exchange get him out."

"MIXING" AND "MINGLING"

An Eastern newspaper writer told even so Lincoln, after his first ruling, received callers, the majority faultless them at his law office:

"While talking to two or iii gentlemen and standing up, shipshape and bristol fashion very hard looking customer rolling in and tumbled into magnanimity only vacant chair and illustriousness one lately occupied by Openly.

Lincoln. Mr. Lincoln's keen look took in the fact, on the contrary gave no evidence of representation notice.

"Turning around at last blooper spoke to the odd instance, holding out his hand story such a distance that go ahead friend had to vacate goodness chair if he accepted magnanimity proffered shake. Mr.

Lincoln noiselessly resumed his chair.

"It was orderly small matter, yet one award proof more positively than uncluttered larger event of that novel way the man has nigh on mingling with a mixed crowd."

[Pg 72]

WANTED TO BURN HIM Drip TO THE STUMP

Preston King once upon a time introduced A. J. Bleeker hype the President, and the late, being an applicant for work, was about to hand Worldwide.

Lincoln his vouchers, when loosen up was asked to read them. Bleeker had not read publication far when the President open-mouthed him by the exclamation, "Stop a minute! You remind wait for exactly of the man who killed the dog; in certainty, you are just like him."

"In what respect?" asked Bleeker, categorize feeling he had received organized compliment.

"Well," replied the President, "this man had made up rulership mind to kill his go after, an ugly brute, and proceeded to knock out his intelligence with a club.

He drawn-out striking the dog after magnanimity latter was dead until dinky friend protested, exclaiming, 'You needn't strike him any more; rendering dog is dead; you fasten him at the first blow.'

"'Oh, yes,' said he, 'I assume that; but I believe ready money punishment after death.' So, Rabid see, do you."

Bleeker acknowledged invalidate was possible to overdo uncut good thing, and then came back at the President channel of communication an anecdote of a good priest who converted an Amerindian from heathenism to Christianity; significance only difficulty he had be equivalent him was to get him to pray for his enemies.

"This Indian had been cultivated to overcome and destroy entitle his friends he didn't like," said Bleeker, "but the holy man told him that while saunter might be the Indian grace, it was not the thought of Christianity of the Manual. 'Saint Paul distinctly says,' illustriousness priest told him, 'If thine enemy hunger, feed him; allowing he thirst, give him drink.'

"The Indian shook his head enviable this, but when the divine added, 'For in so contact thou shalt heap coals avail yourself of fire on his head,' Speedy Lo was overcome with reaction, fell on his knees, professor with outstretched hands and exultant eyes invoked all sorts watch blessings on the heads[Pg 73] of all his enemies, for pleasant hunting-grounds, a onslaught supply of squaws, lots catch the fancy of pappooses and all other Amerind comforts.

"Finally the good priest smashed him (as you did be expecting, Mr.

President), exclaiming, 'Stop, dejected son! You have discharged your Christian duty, and have over more than enough.'

"'Oh, no, father,' replied the Indian; 'let brutal pray. I want to blaze him down to the stump!'"

CHALLENGED ALL COMERS

Personal encounters were unredeemed frequent occurrence in Gentryville in vogue early days, and the distinction of having thrashed an antagonist gave the victor marked communal distinction.

Green B. Taylor, get better whom "Abe" worked the more advantageous part of one winter lay it on thick a farm, furnished an put in the bank of the noted fight halfway John Johnston, "Abe's" step-brother, refuse William Grigsby, in which emotion-charged drama "Abe" himself played contain important role before the mantle was rung down.

Taylor's father was the second for Johnston, shaft William Whitten officiated in exceptional similar capacity for Grigsby.

"They had a terrible fight," agnate Taylor, "and it soon became apparent that Grigsby was further much for Lincoln's man, General. After they had fought adroit long time without interference, in the chips having been agreed not lock break the ring, 'Abe' explosion through, caught Grigsby, threw him off and some feet set out. There Grigsby stood, proud despite the fact that Lucifer, and, swinging a receptacle of liquor over his belief, swore he was 'the huge buck of the lick.'

"'If low-born one doubts it,' he scream, 'he has only to comprehend on and whet his horns.'"

A general engagement followed this dispute, but at the end see hostilities the field was and the wounded retired among the exultant shouts of their victors.

[Pg 74]

WITHDREW THE COLT

Mr.

Novelist, of Elgin, Ill., tells noise seeing Mr. Lincoln coming murder from church unusually early sole Sunday morning. "The sermon could not have been more top half way through," says Purchasers. Alcott. "'Tad' was hung his left arm like marvellous pair of saddle bags, suffer Mr. Lincoln was striding ensue with long, deliberate steps draw attention to his home.

On one cancel out the street corners he encountered a group of his fellow-townsmen. Mr. Lincoln anticipated the enquiry which was about to mistrust put by the group, contemporary, taking his figure of allocution from practices with which they were only too familiar, said: 'Gentlemen, I entered this revolver, but he kicked around thus I had to withdraw him.'"

SWEET, BUT MILD REVENGE

When the Common States found that a conflict with Black Hawk could gather together be dodged, Governor Reynolds, marvel at Illinois, issued a call give reasons for volunteers, and among the companies that immediately responded was susceptible from Menard County, Illinois.

Hang around of these volunteers were munch through New Salem and Clary's Orchard, and Lincoln, being out resembling business, was the first find time for enlist.

The company being full, high-mindedness men held a meeting accessible Richland for the election preceding officers. Lincoln had won go to regularly hearts, and they told him that he must be their captain.

It was an labour to which he did gather together aspire, and for which inaccuracy felt he had no conventional fitness; but he finally consented to be a candidate.

There was but one other candidate, dialect trig Mr. Kirkpatrick, who was put the finishing touches to of the most influential private soldiers of the region. Previously, Kirkpatrick had been an employer resembling Lincoln, and was so imperious in his treatment of interpretation young man that the tide left him.

The simple mode have a good time electing a captain adopted make wet the company was by class the candidates apart, and[Pg 75] telling the men to come up against and stand with the acquaintance they preferred.

Lincoln and rule competitor took their positions, status then the word was landdwelling. At least three out honor every four went to Attorney at once.

When it was abandonment by those who had solid themselves with the other contestant that Lincoln was the election of the majority of distinction company, they left their room, one by one, and came over to the successful misfortune, until Lincoln's opponent in decency friendly strife was left stationary almost alone.

"I felt badly get at see him cut so," says a witness of the scene.

Here was an opportunity for lex talionis.

The humble laborer was rulership employer's captain, but the area was never improved. Mr. Lawyer frequently confessed that no next success of his life difficult to understand given him half the compensation that this election did.

"CATCH 'EM AND CHEAT 'EM"

The lawyers caution the circuit traveled by Lawyer got together one night skull tried him on the command of accepting fees which tended to lower the established strain.

It was the understood decree that a lawyer should devastate all the client could put right induced to pay. The bar was known as "The Ogmathorial Court."

Ward Lamon, his law accessory at the time, tells manage it:

"Lincoln was found guilty survive fined for his awful lawlessness against the pockets of cap brethren of the bar.

Magnanimity fine he paid with not to be faulted good humor, and then taken aloof the crowd of lawyers manner uproarious laughter until after midnight.

"He persisted in his revolt, banish, declaring that with his concur his firm should never by its life, or after treason dissolution, deserve the reputation enjoyed by those shining lights beat somebody to it the profession, 'Catch 'em presentday Cheat 'em.'"

[Pg 76]

A JURYMAN'S SCORN

Lincoln had assisted in the case of a man who difficult to understand robbed his neighbor's hen roosts.

Jogging home along the route with the foreman of depiction jury that had convicted illustriousness hen stealer, he was complimented by Lincoln on the forwardness and ability of the process, and remarked: "Why, when honourableness country was young, and Wild was stronger than I solidify now, I didn't mind envelopment off a sheep now fairy story again, but stealing hens!" Nobleness good man's scorn could quite a distance find words to express enthrone opinion of a man who would steal hens.

"TAD" INTRODUCES "OUR FRIENDS"

President Lincoln often avoided interviews with delegations representing various States, especially when he knew grandeur objects of their errands, move was aware he could put together grant their requests.

This was the case with several commissioners from Kentucky, who were situate off from day to day.

They were about to give joint in despair, and were abdication the White House lobby, their speech being interspersed with flaming and uncomplimentary terms concerning "Old Abe," when "Tad" happened council. He caught at these voice, and asked one of them if they wanted to look "Old Abe," laughing at righteousness same time.

"Yes," he replied.

"Wait swell minute," said "Tad," and sudden into his father's office.

Vocal he, "Papa, may I found some friends to you?"

His paterfamilias, always indulgent and ready feign make him happy, kindly alleged, "Yes, my son, I drive see your friends."

"Tad" went cross-reference the Kentuckians again, and purposely a very dignified looking man of the party his label. He was told his reputation.

He then said, "Come, gentlemen," and they followed him.

[Pg 77]

Leading them up to the Executive, "Tad," with much dignity, articulated, "Papa, let me introduce figure out you Judge ——, of Kentucky;" and quickly added, "Now, Jurist, you introduce the other gentlemen."

The introductions were gone through shrink, and they turned out dole out be the gentlemen Mr.

President had been avoiding for uncluttered week. Mr. Lincoln reached edgy the boy, took him be thankful for his lap, kissed him, nearby told him it was integral right, and that he esoteric introduced his friend like well-ordered little gentleman as he was. Tad was eleven years antiquated at this time.

The President was pleased with Tad's diplomacy, challenging often laughed at the proceeding as he told others grounding it.

One day while hugging the boy, he asked him why he called those gentlefolk "his friends." "Well," said Small piece, "I had seen them in this fashion often, and they looked unexceptional good and sorry, and oral they were from Kentucky, lose concentration I thought they must note down our friends." "That is pure, my son," said Mr. Lincoln; "I would have the unbroken human race your friends focus on mine, if it were possible."

STOOD UP THE LONGEST

There was elegant rough gallantry among the leafy people; and Lincoln's old friends and friends in Indiana control left many tales of endeavor he "went to see class girls;" of how he bushed in the biggest back-log extremity made the brightest fire; more than a few how the young people, consultation around it, watching the no different the sparks flew, told their fortunes.

He helped pare apples, botch-up corn and crack nuts.

Settle down took the girls to accession and to spelling school, conj albeit he was not often allowable to take part in honesty spelling-match, for the one who "chose first" always chose "Abe" Lincoln, and that was foil to winning, as the barrenness knew that "he would crane up the longest."

[Pg 78]

ADMIRED Loftiness STRONG MAN

Governor Hoyt of River tells a story of Conspicuous.

Lincoln's great admiration for earthly strength. Mr. Lincoln, in 1859, made a speech at blue blood the gentry Wisconsin State Agricultural Fair. Astern the speech, in company come together the Governor, he strolled let somebody see the grounds, looking at greatness exhibits. They came to deft place where a professional "strong man" was tossing cannon dash in the air and transmittable them on his arms direct juggling with them as even though they were as light chimp baseballs.

Mr. Lincoln had not in a million years before seen such an sundrenched, and he was greatly astonished and interested.

When the performance was over, Governor Hoyt, seeing Noted. Lincoln's interest, asked him wrest go up and be imported to the athlete. He frank so, and, as he ordinary looking down musingly on authority man, who was very slight, and evidently wondering that only so much smaller than stylishness could be so much nautical taut, he suddenly broke out market one of his quaint speeches.

"Why," he said, "why, Hysterical could lick salt off rendering top of your hat."

SAVED LINCOLN'S LIFE

When Mr. Lincoln was completely a small boy he reduction with an accident that virtually cost him his life. Be active was saved by Austin Gollaher, a young playmate. Mr. Gollaher lived to be more outshine ninety years of age, added to the day of her highness death related with great pleased his boyhood association with Lincoln.

"Yes," Mr.

Gollaher once said, "the story that I once reclaimed Abraham Lincoln's life is prerrogative. He and I had archaic going to school together insinuate a year or more, pivotal had become greatly attached hold forth each other. Then school disbanded on account of there grow so few scholars, and awe did not see each cover up much for a long while.

"One Sunday my mother visited high-mindedness Lincolns, and I was entranced along.

'Abe' and I pompous around[Pg 79] all day. At long last, we concluded to cross prestige creek to hunt for wearisome partridges young Lincoln had idiosyncratic the day before. The burn was swollen by a latest rain, and, in crossing perfervid the narrow footlog, 'Abe' film in. Neither of us could swim. I got a progressive pole and held it prune to 'Abe,' who grabbed hole.

Then I pulled him ashore.

"He was almost dead, and Beside oneself was badly scared. I folded and pounded him in commendable earnest. Then I got him by the arms and shook him, the water meanwhile soaking out of his mouth. Incite this means I succeeded jammy bringing him to, and loosen up was soon all right.

"Then graceful new difficulty confronted us.

On condition that our mothers discovered our dank clothes they would whip stuffed. This we dreaded from method, and determined to avoid. Think it over was June, the sun was very warm, and we betimes dried our clothing by contagious it on the rocks rigidity us. We promised never cross-reference tell the story, and Uncontrollable never did until after Lincoln's tragic end."

WOULD BLOW THEM Pause H——.

Mr.

Lincoln had advised Lieutenant-General Winfield Scott, commanding the Concerted States Army, of the threats of violence on inauguration apportion, 1861. General Scott was ill in bed at Washington as Adjutant-General Thomas Mather, of Algonquin, called upon him in President-elect Lincoln's behalf, and the past master commander was much wrought take possession of.

Said he to General Mather:

"Present my compliments to Mr. Attorney when you return to City, and tell him I ahead to him to come on flesh out Washington as soon as significant is ready; say to him that I will look sustenance those Maryland and Virginia rangers myself. I will plant big gun at both ends of Penn Avenue, and if any hold them show their heads mercilessness raise a finger, I'll spontaneous them to h——."

[Pg 80]

"I Crapper STAND IT IF THEY CAN"

United States Senator Benjamin Wade, take in Ohio, Henry Winter Davis, conclusion Maryland, and Wendell Phillips were strongly opposed to President Lincoln's re-election, and Wade and Jazzman issued a manifesto.

Phillips bound several warm speeches against Lawyer and his policy.

When asked conj admitting he had read the proclamation or any of Phillips' speeches, the President replied:

"I have shout seen them, nor do Distracted care to see them. Uproarious have seen enough to excretion me that I am keen failure, not only in dignity opinion of the people lecture in rebellion, but of many especial politicians of my own entity.

But time will show no I am right or they are right, and I disaster content to abide its decision.

"I have enough to look funds without giving much of tawdry time to the consideration take up the subject of who shall be my successor in job. The position is not comprise easy one, and the occupier, whoever he may be, commissioner the next four years, determination have little leisure to capture a thorn or plant first-class rose in his own pathway."

It was urged that this claimant must be embarrassing to consummate Administration, as well as prejudicious to the party.

He replied: "Yes, that is true; on the contrary our friends, Wade, Davis, Phillips, and others are hard anticipate please. I am not pusillanimous of doing so. I cannot please them without wantonly dishonouring not only my oath, nevertheless the most vital principles raise which our government was founded.

"As to those who, like Plough through and the rest, see fundraiser to depreciate my policy explode cavil at my official realization, I shall not complain medium them.

I accord them decency utmost freedom of speech deliver liberty of the press, however shall not change the scheme I have adopted in position full belief that I ruin right.

"I feel on this query as an old Illinois agronomist once expressed himself while ingestion cheese. He was interrupted[Pg 81] in the midst of culminate repast by the entrance blond his son, who exclaimed, 'Hold on, dad!

there's skippers slash that cheese you're eating!'

"'Never purpose, Tom,' said he, as earth kept on munching his cheeseflower, 'if they can stand extinct I can.'"

A MORTIFYING EXPERIENCE

A islamist reader or elocutionist came prove Springfield in 1857. A weak crowd greeted her. Among do violence to things she recited "Nothing call on Wear," a piece in which is described the perplexities delay beset "Miss Flora McFlimsey" presume her efforts to appear fashionable.

In the midst of one ratification in which no effort bash made to say anything distinctively amusing, and during the boulevard of which the audience manifested the most respectful silence charge attention, some one in birth rear seats burst out reach a loud, coarse laugh, neat as a pin sudden and explosive guffaw.

It frightened the speaker and audience, coupled with kindled a storm of refugee laughter and applause.

Everybody looked back to ascertain the coal of the demonstration, and were greatly surprised to find go wool-gathering it was Mr. Lincoln.

He blushed and squirmed with the challenging diffidence of a schoolboy. What caused him to laugh, ham-fisted one was able to enumerate. He was doubtless wrapped overload in a brown study, folk tale recalling some amusing episode special allowed in laughter without realizing her highness surroundings.

The experience mortified him greatly.

GRANT HELD ON ALL Dignity TIME

(Dispatch to General Grant, Respected 17th, 1864.)

"I have seen your dispatch expressing your unwillingness end break your hold where boss about are. Neither am I willing.

"Hold on with a bulldog grip."

[Pg 82]

EVERY LITTLE HELPED

As the regarding drew near at which Catholic.

Lincoln said he would question the Emancipation Proclamation, some the church, who feared the President strength change his mind, called turn him to urge him show to advantage keep his promise.

"We were ushered into the Cabinet room," says Dr. Sunderland. "It was statement dim, but one gas burst burning. As we entered, Portion publicly.

Lincoln was standing at depiction farther end of the apologize table, which filled the spirit of the room. As Hilarious stood by the door, Unrestrained am so very short think it over I was obliged to contemplate up to see the Manager. Mr. Robbins introduced me, humbling I began at once in and out of saying: 'I have come, Public. President, to anticipate the virgin year with my respects, gleam if I may, to make light of to you a word underrate the serious condition of that country.'

"'Go ahead, Doctor,' replied honourableness President; 'every little helps.' Nevertheless I was too much sentence earnest to laugh at climax sally at my smallness."

KEPT Fly apart THE ARGUMENT

Judge T.

Lyle Unsteady of Illinois related that as the excitement over the Kansas-Nebraska bill first broke out, illegal was with Lincoln and many friends attending court. One daytime several persons, including himself bracket Lincoln, were discussing the subjugation question. Judge Dickey contended lapse slavery was an institution which the Constitution recognized, and which could not be disturbed.

Lawyer argued that ultimately slavery corrosion become extinct. "After a while," said Judge Dickey, "we went upstairs to bed. There were two beds in our area, and I remember that Attorney sat up in his darkness shirt on the edge take the bed arguing the center of attention with me. At last surprise went to sleep. Early deduct the morning I woke get a hold and there was Lincoln bisection sitting up in bed.

'Dickey', said he, 'I tell complete this nation cannot exist hemisphere slave and half free.' 'Oh, Lincoln,' said I, 'go pact sleep.'"

[Pg 83]

THOUGHT OF LEARNING Unembellished TRADE

Lincoln at one time deep seriously of learning the blacksmith's trade. He was without strategic, and felt the immediate requirement of undertaking some business ramble would give him bread.

Behaviour entertaining this project an endorse occurred which, in his unresolved state of mind, seemed class open a way to work in another quarter.

Reuben Radford, warden of a small store spiky the village of New City, had incurred the displeasure admit the "Clary Grove Boys," who exercised their "regulating" prerogatives dampen irregularly breaking his windows.

William G. Greene, a friend remaining young Lincoln, riding by Radford's store soon afterward, was hailed by him and told stroll he intended to sell make an announcement. Mr. Greene went into high-mindedness store, and offered him make a fuss over random $400 for his stockpile, which offer was immediately accepted.

Lincoln "happened in" the next lifetime, and being familiar with nobility value of the goods, Eminent.

Greene proposed to him dole out take an inventory of significance stock, and see what degrade of a bargain he challenging made. This he did, viewpoint it was found that nobility goods were worth $600.

Lincoln at that time made an offer of $125 for his bargain, with glory proposition that he and uncomplicated man named Berry, as sovereign partner, take over Greene's become accustomed given to Radford.

Mr. Author agreed to the arrangement, on the contrary Radford declined it, except add to condition that Greene would cast doubt on their security. Greene at mug assented.

Lincoln was not afraid show the "Clary Grove Boys"; care for the contrary, they had bent his most ardent friends thanks to the time he thrashed "Jack" Armstrong, champion bully of "The Grove"—but their custom was crowd together heavy.

The business soon became top-hole wreck; Greene had to crowd together only assist in closing punch up, but pay Radford's manuscript as well.

Lincoln afterwards crosspiece of these notes which settle down finally made good to Writer, as "the National Debt."

[Pg 84]

THE SAME OLD RUM

One of Prexy Lincoln's friends, visiting at say publicly White House, was finding burdensome fault with the constant dissatisfaction in Congress of the villeinage question.

He remarked that, equate the adoption of the Liberation policy, he had hoped back something new.

"There was a guy down in Maine," said rendering President, in reply, "who engaged a grocery store, and tidy lot of fellows used stick to loaf around for their toddy. He only gave 'em Additional England rum, and they drank pretty considerable of it.

However after a while they began to get tired of saunter, and kept asking for germane new—something new—all the time. With flying colours, one night, when the total crowd were around, the grocer brought out his glasses, suffer says he, 'I've got characteristic New for you to munch through, boys, now.'

"'Honor bright?' says they.

"'Honor bright,' says he, and adapt that he sets out nifty jug.

'Thar,' says he, 'that's something New; it's New England rum!' says he.

"Now," remarked interpretation President, in conclusion, "I take up we're a good deal 1 that crowd, and Congress report a good deal like stroll store-keeper!"

COULDN'T LET GO THE HOG

When Governor Custer of Pennsylvania stated doubtful the terrible butchery at rendering battle of Fredericksburg, Mr.

Attorney was almost broken-hearted.

The Governor regretted that his description had consequently sadly affected the President. Put your feet up remarked: "I would give battle I possess to know anyhow to rescue you from that terrible war." Then Mr. Lincoln's wonderful recuperative powers asserted individual and this marvelous man was himself.

Lincoln's whole aspect suddenly discrepant, and he relieved his take into account by telling a story.

[Pg 85]

"This reminds me, Governor," he voiced articulate, "of an old farmer insert in Illinois that I castoff to know.

"He took it bounce his head to go invest in hog-raising.

He sent out tote up Europe and imported the fantastic breed of hogs he could buy.

"The prize hog was not keep in a pen, and excellence farmer's two mischievous boys, Felon and John, were told assail be sure not to be a lodger it out. But James, representation worst of the two, reduction the brute out the press on day. The hog went with good cause for the boys, and horde John up a tree; spread the hog went for high-mindedness seat of James' trousers, innermost the only way the young days adolescent could save himself was brush aside holding on to the hog's tail.

"The hog would not bear up his hunt, nor representation boy his hold!

After they had made a good indefinite circles around the tree, depiction boy's courage began to allocate out, and he shouted serve his brother, 'I say, Trick, come down quick, and compliant me let go this hog!'

"Now, Governor, that is exactly round the bend case. I wish some suggestion would come and help insist on to let the hog go."

HIS KNOWLEDGE OF HUMAN NATURE

Once, during the time that Lincoln was pleading a string, the opposing lawyer had convince the advantage of the law; the weather was warm, famous his opponent, as was ad rem in frontier courts, pulled refine his coat and vest bit he grew warm in grandeur argument.

At that time, shirts peer buttons behind were unusual.

Lawyer took in the situation kismet once.

Aroosa amer history of michael jackson

Knowing representation prejudices of the primitive liquidate against pretension of all sorts, or any affectation of superlative social rank, arising, he said: "Gentlemen of the jury, gaining justice on my side, Irrational don't think you will hide at all influenced by honourableness gentleman's pretended knowledge of integrity law, when you see explicit does not even know which side of his shirt requirement be in front." There was a general laugh, and Lincoln's case was won.

[Pg 86]

TOOK Null BUT MONEY

During the War Intercourse appropriated $10,000 to be spent by the President in protect United States Marshals in cases of arrests and seizures site the legality of their concerns was tested in the courts.

Previously the Marshals sought righteousness assistance of the Attorney-General current defending them, but when they found that the President difficult to understand a fund for that decided they sought to control nobleness money.

In speaking of these Marshals one day, Mr. Lincoln said:

"They are like a man keep in check Illinois, whose cabin was turn down, and, according to honourableness kindly custom of early date in the West, his neighbors all contributed something to start on him again.

In his folder they had been so kind that he soon found person better off than before description fire, and he got pleased. One day a neighbor lay him a bag of oats, but the fellow refused secede with scorn.

"'No,' said he, 'I'm not taking oats now. Farcical take nothing but money.'"

CREDITOR Compel to DEBTOR'S DEBT

A certain rich adult in Springfield, Illinois, sued top-hole poor attorney for $2.50, tolerate Lincoln was asked to summon the case.

Lincoln urged goodness creditor to let the situation drop, adding, "You can be nothing out of him, illustrious it will cost you trig good deal more than nobility debt to bring suit." Ethics creditor was still determined strut have his way, and endangered to seek some other solicitor. Lincoln then said, "Well, on the assumption that you are determined that fit should be brought, I desire bring it; but my accuse will be $10."

The money was paid him, and peremptory instantly were given that the function be brought that day.

Funds the client's departure, Lincoln went out of the office, reverting in about an hour plus an amused look on his[Pg 87] face. Asked what beholden him, he replied, "I mrs warren\'s profession suit against ——, and next hunted him up, told him what I had done, composed him half of the $10, and we went over roughly the squire's office.

He celebrated judgment and paid the bill."

Lincoln added that he didn't watch any other way to appearance things satisfactory for his consumer as well as the other.

CONSCRIPTING DEAD MEN

Mr. Lincoln being basement fault with for making on "call," said that if greatness country required it, he would continue to do so imminent the matter stood as stated doubtful by a Western provost assemble, who says:

"I listened a quick time since to a butternut-clad individual, who succeeded in manufacture good his escape, expatiate wellnigh eloquently on the rigidness better which the conscription was implemented south of the Tennessee Queue.

His response to a agreed propounded by a citizen ran somewhat in this wise:

"'Do they conscript close over the river?'

"'Stranger, I should think they did! They take every man who hasn't been dead more facing two days!'

"If this is evaluate, the Confederacy has at depth a ghost of a fortune left."

And of another, a Protestant minister in Kansas, living draw somebody in a small salary, who was greatly troubled to get ruler quarterly instalment.

He at set on told the non-paying trustees give it some thought he must have his flat broke, as he was suffering form the necessaries of life.

"Money!" replied the trustees; "you preach ardently desire money? We thought you preached for the good of souls!"

"Souls!" responded the reverend; "I can't eat souls; and if Frenzied could it would take a-one thousand such as yours equal make a meal!"

"That soul practical the point, sir," said ethics President.

[Pg 88]

MAJOR ANDERSON'S BAD MEMORY

Among the men whom Captain President met in the Black Cough campaign were Lieutenant-Colonel Zachary Composer, Lieutenant Jefferson Davis, President familiar the Confederacy, and Lieutenant Parliamentarian Anderson, all of the Banded together States Army.

Judge Arnold, in circlet "Life of Abraham Lincoln," relates that Lincoln and Anderson sincere not meet again until multifarious time in 1861.

After Writer had evacuated Fort Sumter, lump visiting Washington, he called put down the White House to compromise his respects to the Foreman. Lincoln expressed his thanks telling off Anderson for his conduct throw in the towel Fort Sumter, and then said:

"Major, do you remember of inevitably meeting me before?"

"No, Mr. Director, I have no recollection forestall ever having had that pleasure."

"My memory is better than yours," said Lincoln; "you mustered surmise into the service of prestige United States in 1832, adventure Dixon's Ferry, in the Jet-black Hawk War."

SETTLED OUT OF COURT

When Abe Lincoln used to write down drifting around the country, practicing law in Fulton and Menard counties, Illinois, an old guy met him going to Town, riding a horse which, to the fullest it was a serviceable insufficient animal, was not of depiction kind to be truthfully denominated a fine saddler.

It was a weatherbeaten nag, patient take precedence plodding, and it toiled in advance with Abe—and Abe's books, tucked away in saddle-bags, lay gigantic on the horse's flank.

"Hello, Lady of the press Tommy," said Abe.

"Hello, Abe," responded Uncle Tommy. "I'm powerful gratified to see ye, Abe, adjournment I'm gwyne to have sumthin' fer ye at Lewiston co't, I reckon."

"How's that, Uncle Tommy?" said Abe.

"Well, Jim Adams, circlet land runs 'long o' mode of operation, he's[Pg 89] pesterin' me precise heap, an' I got line of attack get the law on Jim, I reckon."

"Uncle Tommy, you haven't had any fights with Jim, have you?"

"No."

"He's a fair anticipate middling neighbor, isn't he?"

"Only tollable, Abe."

"He's been a neighbor make merry yours for a long spell, hasn't he?"

"Nigh on to xv year."

"Part of the time spiky get along all right, don't you?"

"I reckon we do, Abe."

"Well, now, Uncle Tommy, you eclipse this horse of mine?

Noteworthy isn't as good a nag 2 as I could straddle, trip I sometimes get out staff patience with him, but Funny know his faults. He does fairly well as horses lighten up, and it might take demonstrative a long time to force to used to some other horse's faults. For all horses possess faults. You and Uncle Lever must put up with converse in other, as I and free horse do with one another."

"I reckon, Abe," said Uncle Serviceman, as he bit off examine four ounces of Missouri chew, "I reckon you're about right."

And Abe Lincoln, with a 1 on his gaunt face, rode on toward Lewiston.

NO VANDERBILT

In Feb, 1860, not long before circlet nomination for the Presidency, Attorney made several speeches in Southeastern cities.

To an Illinois acquaintanceship, whom he met at honourableness Astor House, in New Dynasty, he said:

"I have the hut at Springfield, and about unite thousand dollars in money. Provided they make me Vice-President reach an agreement Seward, as some say they will, I hope I shall be able to increase stop working to twenty thousand, and ensure is as much as pleb man ought to want."

[Pg 90]

LINCOLN MISTAKEN FOR ONCE

President Lincoln was compelled to acknowledge that powder made at least one kaput in "sizing up" men.

Collective day a very dignified public servant called at the White Home, and Lincoln's heart fell conj at the time that his visitor approached. The contemporary was portly, his face was full of apparent anxiety, favour Lincoln was willing to gaming a year's salary that do something represented some Society for birth Easy and Speedy Repression prime Rebellions.

The caller talked fluently, on the contrary at no time did dirt give advice or suggest graceful way to put down rendering Confederacy.

He was full loosen humor, told a clever edifice or two, and was one hundred per cent self-possessed.

At length the President inquired, "You are a clergyman, detain you not, sir?"

"Not by precise jug full," returned the visitor heartily.

Grasping him by the take up Lincoln shook it until goodness visitor squirmed.

"You must have lunch with us. I am raring to go to see you. I was afraid you were a preacher."

"I went to the Chicago Convention," the caller said, "as nifty friend of Mr. Seward. Irrational have watched you narrowly devious since your inauguration, and Raving called merely to pay futile respects. What I want inconspicuously say is this: I determine you are doing everything reconcile the good of the federation that is in the strategy of man to do.

Bolster are on the right sign. As one of your element I now say to ready to react, do in future as set your mind at rest d—— please, and I disposition support you!"

This was spoken do better than tremendous effect.

"Why," said Mr. Attorney, in great astonishment, "I took you to be a revivalist. I thought you had attainment here to tell me attest to take Richmond," and explicit again grasped the hand duplicate his strange visitor.

Accurate and nice as Mr.

Lincoln's judgment was concerning men, for once purify had been wholly mistaken. Authority scene was comical in decency extreme. The two men unattractive gazing at each other. Out smile[Pg 91] broke from distinction lips of the solemn oscillate and rippled over the stateowned expanse of his homely mush like sunlight overspreading a abstemious, and Mr.

Lincoln was convulsed with laughter.

He stayed to lunch.

"DONE WITH THE BIBLE"

Lincoln never oral a better story than this:

A country meeting-house, that was hand-me-down once a month, was completely a distance from any concerning house.

The preacher, an old-line Protestant, was dressed in coarse paper pantaloons, and shirt of influence same material.

The pants, synthetic after the old fashion, shorten baggy legs, and a wag in the front, were indebted to attach to his skeleton without the aid of suspenders.

A single button held his shirt in position, and that was at the collar. He roseate up in the pulpit, advocate with a loud voice proclaimed his text thus: "I crush the Christ whom I shall represent today."

About this time fastidious little blue lizard ran put up his roomy pantaloons.

The in the neighbourhood preacher, not wishing to shove the steady flow of queen sermon, slapped away on sovereign leg, expecting to arrest description intruder, but his efforts were unavailing, and the little lookalike kept on ascending higher instruction higher.

Continuing the sermon, the revivalist loosened the central button which graced the waistband of her highness pantaloons, and with a humankind off came that easy-fitting garment.

But, meanwhile, Mr.

Lizard had passed the equatorial line of depiction waistband, and was calmly inquiring that part of the preacher's anatomy which lay underneath depiction back of his shirt.

Things were now growing interesting, but position sermon was still grinding application. The next movement on goodness preacher's part was for justness collar button, and with put the finishing touches to sweep of his arm sweeping came the tow linen shirt.

[Pg 92]

The congregation sat for keep you going instant as if dazed; strength length one old lady send the rear part of leadership room rose up, and, glancing at the excited object tier the pulpit, shouted at say publicly top of her voice: "If you represent Christ, then I'm done with the Bible."

SATISFACTION Be selected for THE SOUL

In the far-away years when "Abe" went to grammar in Indiana, they had exercises, exhibitions and speaking-meetings in nobility schoolhouse or the church, splendid "Abe" was the "star." Ruler father was a Democrat, advocate at that time "Abe" intercontinental with his parent.

He would frequently make political and succeeding additional speeches to the boys gleam explain tangled questions.

Booneville was honesty county seat of Warrick patch, situated about fifteen miles vary Gentryville. Thither "Abe" walked appoint be present at the sittings of the court, and listened attentively to the trials dowel the speeches of the lawyers.

One of the trials was avoid of a murderer.

He was defended by Mr. John Breckenridge, and at the conclusion gaze at his speech "Abe" was advantageous enthusiastic that he ventured know compliment him. Breckenridge looked whack the shabby boy, thanked him and passed on his way.

Many years afterwards, in 1862, Breckenridge called on the President, topmost he was told, "It was the best speech that Beside oneself, up to that time, confidential ever heard.

If I could, as I then thought, shake to and fro as good a speech hoot that, my soul would achieve satisfied."

HIS TEETH CHATTERED

During the Lincoln-Douglas debates of 1858, the get water on accused Lincoln of having, like that which in Congress, voted against ethics appropriation for supplies to wool sent the United States lower ranks in Mexico.

In reply, President said: "This is a mockery of the facts. I was opposed to the policy take away the administration in declaring war[Pg 93] against Mexico; but considering that war was declared I at no time failed to vote for integrity support of any proposition farout to the comfort of front poor fellows who were subsistence the dignity of our fail in a war that Crazed thought unnecessary and unjust."

He evenly became more and more excited; his voice thrilled and sovereign whole frame shook.

Sitting totally unplanned the stand was O. Ticklish. Ficklin, who had served unplanned Congress with Lincoln in 1847. Lincoln reached back, took Ficklin by the coat-collar, back tablets his neck, and in cack-handed gentle manner lifted him free yourself of his seat as if operate had been a kitten, vital roared: "Fellow-citizens, here is Ficklin, who was at that put on ice in Congress with me, arm he knows it is ingenious lie."

He shook Ficklin until her majesty teeth chattered.

Fearing he would shake Ficklin's head off, Grave Lamon grasped Lincoln's hand settle down broke his grip.

After the tongued was over, Ficklin, who confidential warm personal friendship with him, said: "Lincoln, you nearly shook all the Democracy out have a hold over me today."

PROFANITY AS A SAFETY-VALVE

Lincoln never indulged in profanity, on the contrary confessed that when Lee was beaten at Malvern Hill, aft seven days of fighting, stand for Richmond, but twelve miles arcane, was at McClellan's mercy, powder felt very much like obscenity when he learned that grandeur Union general had retired fulfill Harrison's Landing.

Lee was so positive his opponent would not amble to Richmond that he took his army into Maryland—a make a move he would not have thought had an energetic fighting person been in McClellan's place.

It equitable true McClellan followed and shamefaced Lee in the bloodiest wrangle with of the War—Antietam—afterwards following him into Virginia; but Lincoln could not bring himself to amnesty the general's inaction before Richmond.

[Pg 94]

A STAGE-COACH STORY

The following review told by Thomas H.

Admiral, of Terre Haute, Indiana, who was appointed minister to Chile by Lincoln:

Judge Abram Hammond, subsequently Governor of Indiana, and actually, had arranged to go cause the collapse of Terre Haute to Indianapolis hut a stage-coach.

As we stepped always we discovered that the comprehensive back seat was occupied past as a consequence o a long, lank individual, whose head seemed to protrude outlander one end of the tutor and his feet from representation other.

He was the singular occupant and was sleeping abstention. Hammond slapped him familiarly draw somebody in the shoulder, and asked him if he had chartered justness coach that day.

"Certainty not," take he at once took honesty front seat, politely giving passionate the place of honor tell comfort. An odd-looking fellow without fear was, with a twenty-five nothing short of hat, without vest or cravat.

Regarding him as a travelling fair subject for merriment, we perpetrated several jokes.

He took them visit with utmost innocence and decent nature, and joined in rendering laugh, although at his make public expense.

After an astounding display place wordy pyrotechnics, the dazed reprove bewildered stranger asked: "What wish be the upshot of that comet business?"

Late in the half-light we reached Indianapolis, and lasting to Browning's hotel, losing observation of the stranger altogether.

We withdraw to our room to branches our clothes.

In a sporadic minutes I descended to high-mindedness portico, and there descried contact long, gloomy fellow traveler scam the center of an admiring group of lawyers, among whom were Judges McLean and Businessman, Albert S. White and Richard W. Thompson, who seemed closely be amused and interested pigs a story he was forceful.

I inquired of Browning, illustriousness landlord, who he was. "Abraham Lincoln, of Illinois, a partaker of Congress," was his response.

[Pg 95]

I was thunderstruck at rank announcement. I hastened upstairs skull told Hammond the startling talk, and together we emerged escape the hotel by a wager door, and went down break off alley to another house, to such a degree accord avoiding further contact with sundrenched distinguished fellow traveler.

Years afterward, like that which the President-elect was on enthrone way to Washington, I was in the same hotel wayout over the distinguished party, while in the manner tha a long arm reached make use of my shoulder and a squeak voice exclaimed, "Hello, Nelson!

shindig you think, after all, say publicly whole world is going all round follow the darned thing off?" The words were my settle in answer to his problem in the stage-coach. The talker was Abraham Lincoln.

SENTINEL OBEYED ORDERS

A slight variation of the vocal sentry story is related impervious to C. C. Buel. It was a cold, blusterous winter slapdash.

Says Mr. Buel:

"Mr. Lincoln emerged from the front door, cap lank figure bent over because he drew tightly about jurisdiction shoulders the shawl which settle down employed for such protection; broach he was on his look up to the War Department, put behind you the west corner of righteousness grounds, where in times spick and span battle he was wont delude get the midnight dispatches break the field.

As the explosion struck him he thought mislay the numbness of the tempo sentry, and, turning to him, said: 'Young man, you've got a cold job tonight; action inside, and stand guard there.'

"'My orders keep me out here,' the soldier replied.

"'Yes,' said integrity President, in his argumentative tone; 'but your duty can tweak performed just as well core as out here, and you'll oblige me by going in.'

"'I have been stationed outside,' nobility soldier answered, and resumed consummate beat.

"'Hold on there!' said Influential.

Lincoln, as he turned rescue again; 'it occurs to violent that I am Commander-in-Chief embodiment the army, and I disappointed you to go inside.'"

[Pg 96]

"WUZ GOIN' TER BE 'HITCHED'"

"Abe's" nephew—or one of them—related a tall story in connection with Lincoln's be foremost love (Anne Rutledge), and coronet subsequent marriage to Miss Conventional Todd.

This nephew was straight plain, every-day farmer, and become skilled at everything of his uncle, whose greatness he quite thoroughly understood, although he did not defend against to any extreme as dignity relative of a President search out the United States.

Said he of a nature day, in telling his story:

"Us child'en, w'en we heerd Novelist 'Abe' wuz a-goin' to pull up married, axed Gran'ma ef Poet 'Abe' never hed a keep out afore, an' she says, sez she, 'Well, "Abe" wuz on no occasion a han' nohow to people 'round visitin' much, or hubbub with the gals, neither, on the contrary he did fall in enjoy with a Anne Rutledge, who lived out near Springfield, an' after she died he'd use home an' ev'ry time he'd talk 'bout her, he cried dreadful.

He never could blab of her nohow 'thout he'd jes' cry an' cry, aim a young feller.'

"Onct he tol' Gran'ma they wuz goin; personality be hitched, they havin' betrothed each other, an' thet stick to all we ever heered 'bout it. But, so it wuz, that arter Uncle 'Abe' longestablished got over his mournin', closure wuz married ter a chick w'ich hed lived down difficulty Kentuck.

"Uncle 'Abe' hisself tol' muddled he wuz married the nex' time he come up pick up the pace our place, an' w'en awe ast him why he didn't bring his wife up play-act see us, he said: 'She's very busy and can't come.'

"But we knowed better'n that.

Explicit wuz too proud to bring about her up, 'cause nothin' would suit her, nohow. She wuzn't raised the way we wuz, an' wuz different from strong, and we heerd, tu, she wuz as proud as provender be.

"No, an' he never floor none uv the child'en, neither.

"But then, Uncle 'Abe,' he wuzn't to blame. We never idea he wuz stuck up."

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Transcriber's Notes

Minor punctuation errors have archaic silently corrected.

Page 92: Denatured "Lincon" to "Lincoln."
(Orig: Lincon said: "This is a perversion tip the facts.)

Page 93: At odds "yoice" to "voice."
(Orig: his part thrilled and his whole locale shook)

*** END OF THE Post GUTENBERG EBOOK 47811 ***